post illu mania

Illu is over but the itching and memories still remains. Rkites are still not completely ot of the shock of loosing illu. No body is ready to believe that judges were fair. Especially when videos and pics of are out and its now open that our illu was far better than others. Then why didn't we got gold, forget about gold we were given fifth position which was quite outrageous. Some r saying that it was done inorder to encourage other halls and send them a message that illu can't be said to be a legacy of RK & RP. Especially amusing was the poster tiltled "Calibre is not enough it takes a conspiracy to take away illu gold from RK". Its a big compliment and is quite true considering our record whenever our structure lites fully we surely get gold.
Anyway Rkites get a consolation in form of there illu and rangoli pics given a wide coverage in media, in news paper articles and also a clip in zee news. So we can say media rightly and impartially judged our show to be the best. What ever consolation be given but loss of illu gold will irk Rkites atleast for a year and possibly all the final years for ever.
Post illu life again seems to be monotonic but now there has come a little bit of load in form of a series of seminars. But as one of our professor often say we are experts in giving presentation . It doesn't know how much we know but we can impress or rather dupe anyone with a pinch of brain and presentation skills. Anyway this all things are part and aprcel of an typical iitian life and we should learn to enjoy them.

illu 2005... RK Rocks.. But Who Cares After all Judges were Blind

It was 7:10 in the evening we were all at our respective positions, checking and correcting the diyas to be lighted down soon. Any time from now call of RK lites can be given . Our hearts were full of expectations and apprehensions. Expectations were for our hardwork of last two weeks, to materialise into a heartening & memorable win. Apprehensions were weather our structure will light up fully or not because we knew if it get lighted then it would be the grandest and the most beautiful illu of all halls participating in this interhall illumination competition of IIT Kharagpur. illu, as it is commonly known, is one of the most labourious and creative event of iit system. Its the only event with a scope for every one to contribute in his own way. More ever specially for rkites it is not only a tradition but a question of prestige. No final year batch will like to passout without winning the illu in their time. This time the fact of being the defending champions and very good preparation by other halls have added additional pressure in all of our minds.
This was indeed the final step of the entire show when we have to lite down the entire structure and remove the entire logistic within a minute. And there came the command of rk lites we all started lighting our respective chatais. At first the atmosphere was tense, some us were fretting & lighting diyas with shaking hands. but soon the entire structure started illuminating. It was coming really great. Except for the top diyas they were lightening with no resistance. It was an awesome scene to watch your entire hall, congregated at a single place, lighting thousands of diyas tied to create a grand structure, depicting a theme . All the chatai heads were at their best, motivating and guiding their guys with an occasional glimse of the entire structure as a whole. To my satisfaction it was lightening with full intensity. We were enjoying our time and call for split and dismantling of the tables was expected soon. One.... Two.... Three and RK split every one came down took hold of their tables and run for cover whereever they can. It was really amazing more than a hundred tables arranged one over the other upto six layers, coming down and removed with in sixty seconds. It can be said to be one of the gratest example of desciplined team effort and that is what illu is known for.
We all were hiding in the cycle shed with judges inspecting our creation. We were dying for the moment judges finish and we are allowed to see our hardwork materialise. We were delighted and confident of a sure shot victory and anticipating a big celebration late in the night. Soon judges went away and gate of the cycles shed opened up. And we all were running towards the garden shouting and screaming at our best... each of us hugging everyone around with the entire lighted structure beside us. It was one of the happiest and most memorable moment which we will cherish through out our life. Soon there was a big tempo shout and again a series of hugging and wishing. It was illu at its best... It was Rk at its best...... And there were we all extremely proud of our creation. After all being the defending champions we were expected to give our
best & that was evident from the huge crowd admiring our show and comprehending the source of the excitement and jubiliation in us.
After all the celebration, photo sessions & a short tour round the campus. There came the time for the result. There was a huge crowd in front of gymkhana....every one at its best enjoying the impatience and excitement in the atmosphere. Specially worth watching was the enthusiasm of RK & RP hall. Each expecting a memorable win and getting a big pot of rasgullas as prize. The memory of last years illu was still in our mind.... how we had carried away the traditional victory procession....The taste of last years rasgullas was still in our mouth and it was raring to have some this time too..... All of us were confident of a sure shot victory. It was only a matter of formality for the judges to announce us the winner and handing us the trophy and also our share of rasgullas .
Finally judge came and started announcing the final verdict. And suddenly we saw a big roar from a section of crowd and there was the illu trophy lofted up in the air. My immediate reaction was whats happening???????? Why are they lifting our illu trophy????? They can't win illu may be they may have lifted it by mistake in lieu of rangoli trophy. But which is this hall????????? No its not RP????? RP guys r standing aghasted to our left....... OH No its lallu.......And now why r they lifting the rangoli trophy???????......... OH god what a folly.......Are this judges fool or am i dreaming.......... ITs too ridiculous..........How can they do it with us???????????? Its real prepostereous???????? They can't win both of it...............and the confusion prevailed for next ten minutes.
Finally it came clear that we got a big surprise from the learned judges who had just rejected our hardwork of an entire month terming it to be old and boorish and have adjudged lallu,the champion because they were too creative.... After all they have depicted a big tajmahal in their illu which was an exception keeping in view of the traditional mythological themes. It doesn't matter that such a structure consist of mostly straight lines and only a single curve in form of a dome. It must really be a catwalk keeping in mind the complexities of the figures made by RK & RP. And they had some additional offers too they have diverted from the regular decorum of illu and acted the plot of raajdarbar with some live music one as if thereal tansen was singing for akbar. It was as if judges got a drama free on a bargain of illu. Sometimes we do require changes but that doesn't mean that the present is not good. Changes should be admired but we should not completely forget the present which had given us the idea of the change required.
We worked really hard and did put up a splendid performance. The admirations & accolades we recieved were our treasurable rewards. It doesn't matter much that we didn't won the gold. Because we still believe we were the best. Memory of the moment we rushed out from all the direction to celebrate the result of our hardwork and labour will always we there in our mind. And will always make us nostalgic of a great event called illu and its ultimate master RK......Long live the tradition of illu........Long live the spellbound performance of RK

Sometimes it happens........when u face an unexpected defeat that too when u think that u were the only one with a mettle to win. At such a time u shout u cry sometimes u do overreact but soon u realise there is nothing in arguing and protesting. This is the ugly face of the otherwise very creative and awarding world. But before blaming the world u should know u r also an integral and inseparable part of the same mean world and the problem generated now might be an afterefect of one of your past demeanour.
Defeat is something we all run from but its also a thing which we all have faced at somepoint of our liftime. Sometimes defeat is too harsh to shatter all your confidence and make u a very subdued and depressed being. Other time it might make u a tough and experienced guy who knows what went wrong this time and try to correct it next time. But many a times when u know that it was the last time and nothing can bring it back. Such a situation makes the defeat far more piercing and painful.

Just back after an extended DP vacation......Its really nice to be home during festivities specially when its the only one u can celebrate with ur family. But return journey was too boring thanks to my plan of coming two days late. It's really too boring to travel alone that too when u r returning from your home.
And now when back in kgp its raining nonstop from last three days.

illu is near.......with the tempo visible in second years RK can surely repeat the last years show.

Sometimes u get tired of sincerest efforts and lose every hope of getting something you crave for too long . Then a day that same longing is satisfied accidently with no effort and expectation. This is what we say the luckiest time of our life. But i wonder when such kinda time will come in my life. I hope its quite near as i have lost every hope of it.

What to do?

'Not again' its what my heart say when asked to make a decision about the future. A similar dilemma occured six years ago in my tenth standard when i was too uncertain about my future. My businessman father was advocating a simple graduation with an MBA to take over his business, But my elated heart ( with my performance in secondary board) was raring to touch new heights .At that time i followed my heart. I can't say that it was the best decision but i am sure i am content and can't blame any one for not giving me a chance to proove myself.
Yet again at this juncture of my life i am again facing the same challenging question. Only difference is that this time stakes are far much higher. it is now or never kinda situation. May be this time i will not get a chance to retrace my steps afterwards.
At this jucture of time it is a real help to hear from the sucessful people
of past time. Guys who once upon a time were in the same shoes as you are now but they capitalized on their opportunities to carve a path of their success and fame. It was the inagural evening of careerz 05 a carrer initiative by the students of iit kharagpur. As a chief guest we had one our alumnus Mr. Sandeepan Deb who is a well known name in the field of writing and jounalism. After graduating from iit and iimc he relinquished his high paying job at ITC to follow his heart and do a job he liked doing most. Here is a part of what i got from the evening and my own opinion about the same.


Majority of people in this world are in to the jobs they do not love.......I think this statement is as true as saying that majority of people in this world are not happy . Although the statement is phenomenal but it can be said to be more apt for a devloping country like india where options are too limited and competition is too fierce for an average person to get into the shoes he prefers the most. People here are too averse to risk rather they are driven by opportunities. Opportunity here is not based on job satisfaction but its based on the prospect of wealth and power in the job.
Its specially evident in the attitude of majority of iitians who have to come up to the huge expectations of their parents and relatives. How often we can find people here preparing for both cat and gre Its too amusing and hard to comprehend as this two are entirely different and non-related field. But people prepare for both just for the sake of increasing their options considering some of common features in their format.
I liked the views of Mr sandeepan deb in which he defined devlopment to be equal opportunity for everyone to realise his potential & prooved that iit is that devlopment platform which is being provided by india to some of his selected guys. & we should capitalize on our luck to realize and nurture our potential in our craved field. There was alot there to discuss agree and reject. Its a good initiative which is forcing me to find what i really crave for and what will make me one of the most satisfied and happy man in this world . There is yet a lot to come from careerz and i think at the end of the day i will comeout to be more confident of my future plans.

post midsem trip

It feels really special to have an outing after stucking long at a place. Same went with us on our recent trip to kolkata. Every time after exams we plan for a far away outing but finally have to appease ourself with a cal trip. This time it was quite different we were in 4th yr and most of our pals in final yr there by unlike other times our strength reduced to just three guys. So it was a small but a coherent like minded group. Although we had no prior plan of sight seeing but inorder to have something out of trip we had a short visit of victoria memorial. A museum endorsing the british raj and vindicating the prosperity and devlopment of the country in their rule. Glorifying each of there notorious commanders without giving a clue of the hidden cruelty and greed behind most of their nasty and heinous endeavours. Anyway it was a good demonstration of the glory and lavishness of white rulers in the poverty stricken british india. After a brief stay and an exhilarating photo session we went to esplanade for a shopping spree.
The rush in the market was awesome but it is justified keeping in the view of upcoming puja festival. We also become one among equals shopping untill our pockets were exhausted to an extent that only return fare remained left. Vallet was empty but heart was still full of cravings but it happens every time i go out for a spree. Finally we ended our trip with a delicious treat at dominos and hurried back to catch the last train back home (kgp).

changes...

Again a long gap... this blogging hobby is getting out of my way but lately the other factor responsible is my inability to share anything due to the placidity of my life this days.
Just as i was thinking what to write about i noticed world had changed a lot since my last blog......The area of influence of heavy rains has changed from bombay to andhrapradesh. Stock market had risen to its all time highest 8500 point index. Poor form of indian team continues with two successive final loss within a month time. huh world is changing at such a high pace and i am leading the same monotonic life
Actually change has come here too but this is a cyclical change which has to occur every couple of months. Yaa.....ur right.. there came exam time again. With it there came a little bit of load in life but this load was just a fraction of what it used to be a year before. This time exam too seemed too be a routine job. There remains no desire to excel them there remain no fear to have them On the other hand they appeared as a welcome change in the otherwise daily routine of classes and other activities

Life goes on ...........

Ages have passed since my last blog. Life is moving at a very slow pace far slower than wat it used to be last year or last to last year. This placidness can be attributed to large reduction in contact hours and my burgeoning disinterest toward studies. This semester i can say i am bunking classes as often as often as i used to attend last semester. I don't know whats the reason behind this metamorphosis but my friends suggest some final/4th year phenomenon behind it. Also recently i have started doing a lot of physical work out which makes my body too tired and my mind too dull to commit and write an entire blog. Watever may be the outcome but my blogging is suffering a lot due to this attitude.
Also a lot of events took place in this long period of nonblogging. New second years arrived and became part of the hall with culmination of their orientation period last night. I still remember the day our op ended. It can be counted as one of the most happening days in my life. After sustaining twenty days of oppression and subjugation i was again on my own. But the next day i found i was not the same person i used to be a fortnight ago. This new person was far more confident and far less introvert than what he used to be a few days before. Interaction with near about two hundred people in a short span of twenty days was a big and effective change for a person who hardly find himself comfortable among strangers. That period was one of the most social period of my entire life and i will cherish it all through my life. Also worth cherishing is the experience of OP as a scenior. This year i found as you become senior your way of taking op also gets mature. Last year i used to enjoy my senior status and used to extract fun out of the entire process. But this year it appeared to me more of a social responsibilty to give back every thing what i got from my seniors. This was again a change which suggested that now i am a veteran of kgp.
Also the other important event which took place was convocation day. As usual a lot of seniors came with a bucket full of experience and tales to share. This resulted in long bhat sessions which cleared some of our conception towards the outside world and helped us in assessing the probable direction of our future. Whatever may be the future but it is for sure that from now onwards our life will change at a rapid pace. I can again see a tunnel full of tests as dark as it used to be in my +2. Only future will tell in which condition i will come out of this dark tunnel. But the voyage will really be tough from now onwards. Lets hope i will keep on going nomatter however tough this going become.

Raining cats n dogs ******N.B.

The first time i heard it, I had to think a lot to find the probable cause of the use of such an obscure expression inorder to depict the heavy rain. Even i had a short discussion with my friends about it.....But we didn't come to an conclusion. A lot of time has passed but still i don't know the reason behind its use But if its said to depict the intensity of the rain ( which i afraid is not true) then be should say its raining bulls and bears in mumbai ( Don't be mislead by its share market analogy bcoj there are only bulls there).... above 800mm of rainfall in a single day yaar its astronomic most part of the country do not get such amount in a whole season. Such an event may be a abberation for mumbai but not for india. India has always sufferred a lot with fluctuating and erratic monsoon. There is flood ina part of country at the same time when the other part is facing acute draught. But after all diversity is what india is known for.
Whatever may be the casuality but with such a monsoon around i again get an urge to know the reason behind the usage of the phrase raining cats and dogs.....So as usual i made a google search and come up a confusing situation. Actually there are many proported reasons for the usage of the above phrase. Some people's derivation is that cats are sayed to have sway over the weather ( its an old sailors myth). Feline meteorological magic, coupled with a symbolic association of storms with dogs, may be the genesis for the phrase. The other arguement is that on account of the notorious inefficiency of 17th-century sewage and drainage systems, the streets of European cities were often littered with debris and dead animals( mostly cats n dogs) after heavy rainstorms. They had to come from somewhere, right? There were other arguements too. But i got bored and stopped digging furthur.
Lets leave out rains... they are just for a time being and everything will be back to normal within a week or so..........but high rain in my region may bear me an advantage in form of a concession in power cut over next summer which has become a typical feature of an scorching indian summer especially in a power deficient state like MP.

Note: Censored ( Only for extremely pervert people who can endure reading anything) Its real crap plz avoid reading it and if u dare to read it again don't blame me for the after effects

Back to Business

Back in kgp It feels good to return back to the den. Also its long time since my last blog.
So coming back in ur 4th year many things do change drastically......... Like u miss a lot all the passout senior guys especially your wingies. Also coming to 4th year seems a short of metamorphosis. It's a year with all the fine aspects of a final year in absence of all the burgeoning loads that a final year guy face. But the situation of idealness arrising out of this features can frustrate u many a times. But taking everything positively it gives u one more year of peace and masti which will be a longity once u r on a job.
So days are passing right fine Enjoying my stuff with long chats about the internship. Just finished "The American Brat" by Bapsi sidhwa. A nice book by the parsee pakistani writer . ITs story of a pakistani girl on his first visit of US who soon get infected by westerlies and soon became an american brat. Its a nice and vivid exposure of all the harsh and eyeopening experiences u go through while adopting to such a drastic change of culture & society. Currently reading The half blood prince . Its coming up nicely and JKR has inflicted a lot of changes in the way the mystry unfolds.

Let's call it a day

Its the end of the year......finally i have finished three years in kgp.......its really soothing.......On a scale i am .6 engineer now.....So it calls for a celebration......but celebration is of other kind, its for the outgoing final years of the wing, going out for a kill in the outside world. May god give them success in whatever field they lay their hands in.
Its realy a great social adventure to live in iit kgp specially for an introvert like me who rarely find himself comfortable making new friends. But hatsoff to social life here with a fabulous hall system and furthur hats off to rk hall for its multi-year wing system. With your arrival in a senior wing of the hall you get a bunch of seniors, to guide you taking important decisions & to put a sense of accountability to the otherwise unaccountable life of a typical kgpian. Its really fun to live with your seniors who are more closer to u than most of ur batchmates. With my allotment to the wing CTE i also got a hand full of such seniors and i too feeling really bad now when they are leaving me.
People come and go, but memories remain. I am sure their memories will always be with me enlightening me to give my best in all the cucial points of my life. But here are the best things about this fellows which i will like to cherish my whole life.

JD: My closest and most dear senior.......As we proficiently put up in iris Buddha by name but baccha in game.....we shared a lot of fights and light moments but he is one of the sweetest guy i have ever known....at the culmination of our association this sweetness become a little bit sour.... but in reality that was just a cosmetic phase which can't be reversed but also can't be put forwarded all the time. However short tempered he may be he is a good friend and a great person

Chandan: Chota sa chutia, its probably the rightmost sobriquet for the most contentious personality of the wing. I was really impressed by his communication skills the first day i met him and till date i adore him in that respect. He is simply uncontrolable in any mood, good or bad he is in. It was really fun to tease him with an AOL tag and specially worth remembering is the incident he broke his leg watching a lass in a railway AC compartment.

Bunka: Another great personality of the wing. This man is really a maverick. He is probabily the most confident person i have ever known and this confidence is what makes him different from any other successful person you meet. Other quality of him i like is his straight forwardness. He is really a tough and irritating person to talk with but a nice person to have around. Sometimes his such a eccentric attitude force me to think of kabir whoas had rightly said "Nindak niyre rakhiyo aangan kuti chabaye bin pani bin sawan nirmal kare suhaye"

PS: Someone who force u to respect him from bottom of your heart. I will probabily like him as my elder brother ( something i regret not having in my life). I know only a small bit of him but that much is enough to truely respect and adore him

good bye time ........its farewell every where

This are the final days of the academic year & its time to bid good bye to many of your seniors cum friends. Every year while sitting in a farewell party i try to contemplate the feelings and emotions of the guys passing out. Every year i find that at that point i can understand it better than what i can a year ago. But there is always a mixed feeling about the place kgp. Just by giving two or three senti farewell speeches you can't get away with a place you have spent four or five years of your life. The most youthful & happening years of your life which had processed you from a potential future to a talented present. Its always a pride to study in an iit and itbeing iitian will always be one of the greatest achievement that every passout guy will have in his CV.
I still wonder what my feelings will be on the day i will be leaving kgp. But it's a long time ahead before getiing to that point and i have to face a lot of troubles and to achieve a lot of acomplishments before the day comes. But its always a special feeling sitting in a farewell ceremony listening to the guys who are leaving you and whose place you imagine your self some years afterwards.
But its a long time since my last blog and i do regret not writing it. Actually a few days before one of my friend asked me why am i not publicising my blog, I contended the suggestion for many days and finally decided i can't do so. Prior to being a blog addict i had surveyed a lot of blogs and majority of them were those, which were used more of as a publicity instict to show off your writing or amusing skills. But i adopted the hobby for the contrasting cause, I want to use it as a platform to express my true feeling & emotions not the one which will please some one and will enhance your fans and friend list. This is the truest form of me and i don't want to make
me public.
Just going through the "fountain head" a classical story of a unconventional architect. Although i didn't fully agree with the feelings and the principals emphasized by the author in the story but i do like the way of writing it. Actually the novel seems to me a little bit out of league of all the best reader i have ever read. I always have an affinity towards the unconventional stuff and i do agree that i am a little bit unconventional in my feeling and attitude. Untill now i have always liked the hidden unconventionality in me I don't know weather it is for a good cause or not. But i like it every bit.
Lets call it a day actually exams are going on and i have to stick to a tight schedule.

Frustness & Addiction

Hey a long time since my last blog...... actually for writing a blog u require some subject & currently my life is going on so monotonously that there is nothing to write about. But there is a second inspiration for a writer in this world that's frustration and we all know that it's a must condition for a good writer or an poet. I am writing this blog just out of my frustness but don't worry i don't have other skills a adroit writer should possess.
Now question arise why i am so frustrated.......any way there is no need for a reason to be frust in kgp. 90% of kgpians remains frust 90% of there stay in kgp.....But today there's a different dimension of this frustness currently I am frust because there are not enough frustmates around Its holi time and everyone is rushing home for as many days as he can manage as many bunk he can......& wat a unlucky guy i am writing a frust blog that can't give anyone anything except frustness.

Let's have a different talk i am fedup being frust and may be my frustness has crossed its threshhold limit. Let's talk about addiction, the second most awesome condition a kgpian has
afinity to. A typical kgpian loves to be addicted by something or other, may be the genesis of the habit is the addiction of book's, that a typical JEE aspirant usually has & a typical iitian must have before entering the iit . But mind you the addiction prevailing in kgp are not as shortlived as there above mentioned counter part On the other hand they are so exavagant that they can move mountains and turn rivers.

There are different stages of your stay in iit kgp and each stage brings with it it's own set of addictions. But there are some addiction that often influence all the stages of life in the campus and in most of this addictions iit kgps LAN takes an active part currently the most common of infliction is that of sops....Oh don't get confused by the saas bahu ramkahani your mother or grandmother are always glued too . But this are the famous western sops that had made a name
in the west and have become the prey of frustness kgp provides.......And whatever may be there TRP in the west they are great hits here..... I am also an easy prey to this inflictions
As a matter of fact i have just concluded viewing 60 episodes of Roswell in a record time 3 days . & thats the reason i am talking about addiction a lot. But believe me this addiction funda works & i have come to an conclusion that they are the only weapon a kgpian has against all the unhospitable and pathetic conditions prevailing here
I too love being addicted and believe me it's much better than to be frustrated

Anger a sweet poison

Anger!!! what a strange state to be behested by god to the world,so tempting to attract anyone, so dificult to control yet too dangerous & extravagant to have. But it had remained a route cause of all the misdoings of this world. My association with this strange & ubiquitous human trait is very long & strong. I don't know weather it was hereditary or congenital but this trait is there in my blood right from the day i have gone social. It has always remain beside me in all my misendeavours.
Anger is something i was always taught to avoid and it is something which i was not able to resist my whole life. Its the main cause of loss of many of my friends even some of my good friends were not able to become close one due to the same anger. But i have never been able to control this selfdestructive anger trait.But sometimes life brings u to a state where u can't get angry because u don't have any thing to loose after becoming angry & this is the state u find what a jerk this anger was. But wats the use of something which has already passed so u decide to control it in the future and u succeed too.But only control has never been a solution, every thing in control is prone to go out of control. So inspite of all your restrain someday this anger manages to overshadow your will and comes out. Leavinga devasting effect to your life and it is the day u wonder why god created this strange thing. May be almighty himself had been in the state of anger while creating it.
Whatever the reason may be quality of controling anger is a virtue which distinguish a successful few from the trivial many

One evening in a taxi and a mall

Driver: sala aaj din hi kharab nikla pure din mein char bar gaadi kharab ho gayi subha se kuch nahin khaya aur abhi udhar tyre banwa kar aa raha hoon aap jo kiraya denge usse daru pee kar so jaoonga
One of us: khali pet daru pioge to mar jaoge
Driver: sahab waise bhi sarkar jinda nahin chodegi achcha he daru se hi mar jaaonga

This was a short conversation with a taxi driver on our last trip to kolkata the way of delivery was so tragic that it predesposed me to think about the incident deeply on my way back to kgp.The centre of my contention were two extreme situations i faced just in a short span of half an hour. Actually at the time of above conversation we were returning from ionox( the biggest and most exavagant mall of kolkata). while our outing at the mall i was fascinatedby the opulence and consumerism which such a malls are known for..... Standard of people shoping there (Especially boy friends of beautiful babes shoping there) and price tag on the products were huge enough to give me an inferiority complex. We were looking complete fool there like a bunch of monkeys in a fairy land. But also there grew a longing to become big and rich in life so that i can also enjoy all the comforts being offered there. Such was the frustration that we left the mall in ten minutes with a confidence that someday we will also be able to afford such a mall as our regular shoping venue.
We boarded a taxi to esplened and did our shoping and we were on our way back to howrah station when the above said conversation happened. The pain and emotions in the voice of that taxi driver forced my thought away from the memory of the ionox and the frustration i faced there. Here i was, contemplating the condition of such a taxi driver and crores of poor people in the country like him It seemed that my life was a luxury compared to there's.This was the second extreme of the country india... An extreme which is far more real then the loftiness of that shoping mall.......An extreme that is seldom talked of when refering india..........An extreme which shows that what the miserable state indians are in..........An extreme which raises a question can india afford such a consumerism and opulence as was there in that mall......

I don't know weather people shoping there were happy or not but it was for sure that this driver was in a very pathetic condition, and if i can envy a person shoping in a mall i should be empathic with this driver too. That fateful night i questioned myself again and again
And i found i was .......
But there was no frustration but sympathy for the poor
no determination to do something for him but only a hollow sympathy
& i gave him the money (whick he may have dranked off) and forgot the whole episode.

There in the train when i contemplated the whole episode It gave me a feeling of guilt together with a hatred against my shelfish attitude. Isn't such a attitude of indians responsible for a third of our population below poverty line.In america an increase of 2% unemplyment is enough to defeat a president in his second term but in india we are dreaming to become a economic power in the world just because a hand full of western jobs are being outsorced in the country. We are happy with our current telecom boom when thousands of indian village don't have a single phone. We are happy to see malls full of lights and grandiuer when a student from rural india does n't have enough power suply to light a bulb and prepare for his examinations.
This two situations were not incidental but were the reality of the country india .....................
A bitter reality which is beimg faced by each and every one of us every evening.........................
But we find our helpless to do anything other than sympathising..........................
I don't know weather there will be a change in my attitude or not but untill such an attitude will prevail in all of us, india will be evaded of realising the dreams it has dreamed off.

Mein Aisa Kyon Hoon

Sometimes i think why am i as i am
The question arises mostly out of my frustration with my poor performance or sometimes is
inantiated by any of my good friends, who never leave a chance to proove that they are the severest critics this universe has ever witnessed. But is this question a valid one and if it is so can it be answered appropriately.
As i believe (but i never follow) every one has got his own qualities and limitations. No one is being behested with all the talent in all the fields.......the converse is also true no one in this world is without a talent. It is mandatory for him to be good in something or the other only difference is that weather he knows about his talents or not. Even being aware of your talent is not enough you should try to harness your best by the talent you possess instead of whining over the qualities you do not have.
Its quite ironic that eventhough i know the answer then too i am confronted by the same question every know or then. This tendency of mine can be attributed to my being a human
and every human has a tendency of dissatisfaction out of himself.
But it can also be said that this tendency is there because i am not enjoying the stuff i am made to do now a days.....Its again depressing you tried hard to achieve something and after achieving that you find that it is not the thing you were craving for.

But at the end of the day i am what i am and nobody can change that and notwithstanding certain down moments i love to be myself and this is the feeling which should always exist after all if you yourself do not like youself how can you expect others to do so. somebody has rightly said Be Yourself because a orignal is worth more than a copy.

A Tantrum to rue off

Sometimes u try a lot but u fail.
Sometimes u think u are the best but u soon realize ur not.
Sometimes u creeve for a thing but u manage to loose it.
Sometimes u want to impress someone but u fail to do so.
Sometimes u do a resolution but later fail to comply by it.
Sometimes u want someone to love u but eventually find he hates u.
Sometimes u want to give someone all happiness u can but u manage to sadden him.
This are the times u think u r a perfect looser but u should know at all this moments
that after all u r a humanbeings.

This is the perfect kind a life a human should have.
He should learn from his failuress.
He should learn from his loses.
He should learn from his heart breaks.
He should learn from his outrages.
He should learn from his breakups.
He should learn from his misendeavours.
after all this are the incidents that makes this life a book to learn from.

Where there is a failure there is a chance of success too.
Where there is a heartbreak there is a chance to make up too.
where there is a breakup there is a chance of an affair too.
Where there is a imperfection there is chance of a perfection too.
Whereever there is a longing there is a chance of satisfaction too.
after all this is how a human being learns.

(IS any body reading i am sorry for such a bogus poem actually i am not an articulate writer, infact this is the
first poem i have ever written that too in such a frantic state i am so i hope u will not mind after all its how life goes)

Springs gone it's cold again in kgp

It's very frust time.................. there is dispondency every where........spring is retreating...........
as if heart is rhyming ABHI NAA JAO CHOD KE KI DIL ABHI BHARA NAHIN........................
It's the end of SF2005.Its time to come back to your own, as if every thing was a beautiful dream which perished away after the end of the deep somber.
from tomorrow the same monotonous life...same boring lectures by same senile professors same labs........ same proxies & same bunks..........But it is how life goes
But overall sf was a fun...... a bit different this time .........a bit matured but a bit less
demanding too. The special attraction of the fest was the beautiful new sf arena which was
looking like a real village with stalls in form of huts and desi khat to sit at.That was a creative innovation from the sf team and they deserve credit for it. Also spring fest is known for its star nites This time there were some of the rocking performances by parikrama, Indian ocean & strings. Parikrama show was happening but performance was a little bit dismal this time keeping in view there last show back in 2003. Anyway they rocked every one
and gave a beautiful kickstart to the fest.
But the grand rocker of the fest was the string group their music was really awesome intrspersed with indian oldies song and accasional indo pak sento from faisal gave the show a lot of admirers. Especially awesome was waiving of thousands of mobiles all over the toat giving a beautiful view of waiving of torches also there were laser lights there profusing an electricity to the croud.Hey faisal may the freindship prevail and we get to hear u live again and again. I also enjoyed the show by indian ocean, although they were void of many admires but there may be many like me. I was really fascinated knowing that its lead singer is an iit kanpur graduate and had reliquished his excellent job to form the band and fulfill his hobby. it's really nice to have such guys around.
Also i enjoyed a lot flirting here and there. Although i never got a success notwithstanding one two antakshari session with girls, its other matter that there boy friends were with them. But i found number of guys proposing gals but never found guts to even think of it. I think i have to take a lot of tips from this guys........overall the fest was a fun and i enjoyed it a lot... But there is no time to think of it now........O' my god it's late night and i have to attend the early morning class

Good bye sf. C u there in 2005

it's spring time in kgp

this is spring semester,also spring is about to come in kgp.It's january the best moth of kgp life because it is the month when spring fest is being organised.Spring Fest the sociocultural festof iit kgp is the only time of the year when kgpians can say with confidence that there are enough girls on earth & they have not yet fled back to mars.It's the time when the sleepy campus rises to give a grand ovation tosome of prominent master's of music.It's the only time when u can enjoya disco in kgp.It's the time when sun never sets in kgp.More of all It's only time when kgp seems liveable & such a time is about to come........Let's hopefor the best in this Sf. Also a prominent event happened,for the first time i acted in aplay it was a hindi play called "Ek Tha Gadha" It was the story of a nawabwho is the biggest fool in the world but yet think himself to be the wisest.All over his kingdom there is rule of sycophant's who always keep on buttering this nawab and praise him for all the foolishness he does.I was in the role of a Chintak,one among three dearest & most foolishsycophant of nawab.Play was delivered well keeping in view of the fact that almost all the actors were on stage for the first time. It also won a silver in the competitionI look forward on taking part in more plays in the future.I have growngood liking for drams and wonder why i never took part in them in the past.But it's better late then never.

welcome 05 good bye 04

Its party time new year has come............. Its time to say happy new year after the drastic ending of last year let's hope new year will bring peace and prosperity to the world.....
Looking back at the last year it was a big one but more of a maggu one i accept that most of my time had gone in attending classes and studing but lets hope new year will not be as harsh.

It's the new semester too & it seems to be less hectic but more boring then the previous ones . also it is loaded with an additional burden of a project which brings u entirely on the mercy of the professor. But i have got e-auction as my project area so i can hope myself to be avnish bajaj in making just kidding....But right i am in very ironic situation last semester i got a decent sgpa that soared my cgpa to its best ever point but then too my dep rank diminished by 2 positions that too when it matters the most.i am in a confused state weather to cry or laugh.....But man why am i discussing it here...

my Vacation was as good as always enjoyed ghar ka khana a lot and now missing it too much. I sometimes pray to god to give me a ugly wife provided she should be an excellent cook. But the second thing i enjoy a lot at my ease time is reading books. Recently i completed two books.

First one was "The Negotiator" By Fredrick forsyth a nice thriller a typical forsyth kind and u know i am great fan of him. the story is that of a man behested with a responsibility of negotiating the release of the son of american president who has been abducted by some mercenaries being hired by a chauvinist & magalomaniac business tycoon who want liberal president to relinquish his presodency to a much conservative deputy in wake of mental trauma caused by his son's death. In the later part hero being blamed responsible for the death chase out the all villian in a typical forsyth manner.

Second one was " Suitable Boy" By vikram seth one of the most clasical novel i have ever read. The distict way of expressing each and every detail is the seth's speciality which holds any reader to the book. Also amazing are the numerous characters in the story most of which resemble one or another man in our real life. The story was quite normal stuff that of a girl lata & search for a suitable bride groom for her. But story interspunned with numerous characters narrating the political & sicioeconomical condition of newly born independent india was worth scintilating. It is a must read book that has an ability to tie any reader to itself