Aatmchintan....An Introspection

Banning Coaching Institutes: Is this the ultimate solution

2012-02-01T06:47:00.000-08:00

I have been hearing a lot of helluva about inclusion of class 12th marks weightage in IIT entrance criterion. Apparently the major justification to the decision is that in current system 12th marks does not have any implication on a students future and as result student do not give a damn to the exam. The second purported reason are the mushrooming coaching institutes which focus only on entrance exam and do not let a child's overall development. I being an output of such a coaching institute is in a good position to judge both of these justifications.

The first point regarding the non-relevance of senior school in wake of mushrooming coaching institutes is very true but the real question is why this is happening. Is this because of shear incompetence of schools or the brilliance of the coaching institutes that the students and as a matter of fact their parents are ready to sacrifice their education and pay hefty amount to enroll them into a coaching institutes. As far as i am concerned i left my school after due research and clear advice from my seniors on the brilliance of the teachers in my school. The point was justified later when i found that many classmates who i consider brilliant than me could not get through despite putting in adequate effort. in addition to their efforts, students at that stage need much guidance and motivation to clear the final threshold and counter the tough competition out there.

I will strongly differ from the second point which says that overall development suffer because of the single focused coaching institutes. On the other hand i believe this focus is what drive best out of the students. They get to be part of a group with similar aim and do aid each other in their path forwarded. Is is as if a number of like minded cooperate to get ahead on the path of their choice and i do not see any wrong with it. Moreover these institutes are the sole opportunity for students like me who do not have a privilege to study in a top tier school because of their place of residence and who also do not have any educated family member who can guide them on their path. In a way coaching institutes are giving level playing ground to all the deserving candidates irrespective of their past and family background. Most of the prestigious coaching institute have their own entrance test which test students on elementary concepts to gauge their aptitude for the exam.

People have every right to express their opinion but I believe leaving my school and joining a coaching institute was the best decision I have ever taken and was one of the turning point of my life. Those two formative years were the biggest learning experience i ever had and probably i was in company of the most brilliant people i ever had. And with my IIT and IIM experience anybody should think twice before challenging me on this topic.

Time to Fight it out

2011-12-25T11:13:00.000-08:00

I don't know how to start it....As usual a lot has happened recently and most of it has not been very pleasant with me. This is the moment of introspection..This is the time to think deep...This is the time to take some tough decisions. I just hope this time i would be judicious enough to make them right.

Overall I have been utter failure at IIM Bangalore. My once seemingly too promising career has reached a state of complete uncertainty and confusion. Yes I wanted to increase my option in life..I wanted to be generalist...But that does not mean i wanted to be good for nothing as I had become now.

Having said all this I know i am not good for nothing...I need an inspiring success to boost my morale and rejuvenate my energies...I am working hard for it. No matter what the end result is I need to fight and fight is the only thing I can do.....

Halfway........

2011-05-24T09:12:00.000-07:00

What a year it has been. I don't know why history is so condescending with me. Why it keeps on repeating itself and give me a sense of de-ja-vu. I have always been a laggard.....a late starter.... But as they say all is well that ends well....I just hope this also ends well....I desperately hope that.....

Never in life I have been in such a pressure. Never in life I have been at such a low. But life is all about encompassing new peaks and new troughs. The funny thing is that this is happening at a moment... at a place.. I have always aspired and dreamed off... But I know it was not a fluke...I am very well aware that the recent time has not been good to me. But as always I will come back...with a bang. You just sit an watch and I will be there ........The place I have always wanted to be at..........

Plan Ahead

2010-05-21T13:38:00.000-07:00

I still remember the day I joined IIT Kharagpur. It was a new beginning although not a perfect one. I was shattered by the cruel fate...A little under confident and completely ignorant of the opportunities ahead. Always been the planned man this was obviously not the greatest start I could have had....

But his time it is different. I am as confident as I have ever been..Most of all I am not completely ignorant of what I gonna face...I want to take this opportunity to make up for the mistakes of my past. This means I should be prepared and well planned. Here is the list of achievements I will like to have on my CV the day I pass out-

Among the top 20 graduating student
Made good friends who will last life long
Have extra ordinary communication abilities
Got an internship in a top consulting firm and get a PPO
Had been a popular guy in the batch
Went to Europe in term exchange
Joined a good club and make a mark there
Took part in as many extra curricular activities as possible

When it rains It pours

2010-05-09T06:29:00.000-07:00

There are few things in life which I had craved so much...There are even fewer for which I have struggled so much..I was on the verge of giving up.....This was the last frontier...The last try. But all the hard work and wait had made this success far more sweeter. I am a happy man today...Alas heavens had played its part and yes this time, for a change, luck was with me.....

There has been several lessons from this. The biggest one has been the realization that all small things and achievement play their role, of course at the opportune moment. You will always wonder why you worked so hard for something which had no impact on your life and some good day like this you will realize that it was the single differentiating factor which proved you better among equals. Moral of the story - It doesn't matter what you do, what matters is how you do it.

Let the celebrations begin!!!!!!!

Waiting for the moment of truth

2010-04-10T11:32:00.000-07:00

Life is unbelievably funny. Full of uncertainty..Full of ups and downs. Just a quarter back I thought I have lost it in me...I am a gone case..a laggard in the rat race outside..But the most common proverb floating around came out to be true.. " Tough times never last but tougher people do".

And what a turn around..Today I am confused on whether to have a laddo or a rasgulla. I am sure this time will also not stay for ever. And whatever decision I take will have a prolong and lasting effect on my career.

I do not remember when I first heard of the word IIT. But It was the sheer determination of a 16 year young hardworking boy which got him through one of the toughest exams against all the odds. Such was his confindence that all through his preparation he never ever thought of not clearing the exam. It was his naiveness which convinced him that only harwork is key to success. And how hard he worked is something to record.

It was a big moment..the day he got his result...He got through but was still too disappointed. he was not paid his due...Perhaps destiny was too hard for him....He was deeply heart broken..But somehow he believed that someday he will get his due....Luck will reverse some day and will even out the unfairness he received..

From there on he became far more practical and opportunistic. His hardworking nature was replaced by smartness. He moved to a new world..A world filled with a diverse set of individuals..some very harworking, some very intelligent and others with a bit of both. Intermingling with this group he realized perhaps he was paid sufficiently for his harwork. Perhaps he was not that good in other aspect which limited his achievements... Nevertheless he was to happy to be given a chance to be a part of such a bright group and always tried to learn from each of them....At the end of his stay at this wonderful place he came out a lot more confident.

Alas He came out to the real world and joined a rat race. The race to proove himself..A race to get ahead or atleast remain at par to the briliant folks he met previously. He had a good start and loved his life and enjoyed it to fullst. But soon he realized that this is not something he has always wanted.. this is not something he has worked so hard for. He realized he had to move out of this, as fast as possible. He new an exit. An exit which will take him to a new place with another set of brilliant people and will open a new horizon of opportunities for him. He worked hard..not as hard as he did in the first place...but far more balanced and smartly. He cleared the first hurdle although not that convincingly but he was sure that he will come out of the next stage with flying colours. He again saw the same light he used to saw in distant past and worked even harder this time.

Today the same guy is at another fork way of his life. This time again it is the same destiny deciding his fate. He is hoping that this time will be different.. he will be given his long due....Perhaps this will evenout his previous disappointments and will give him the same confidence he possesed at the beginning of this story....

Moment of truth is just round the corner....Let the heavens play its part.

My First Car

2009-07-19T11:29:00.000-07:00

Just bought my first car a Maruti Swift Vxi...... I was looking forward to this since long. At last the long wait has ended together with my grounded state.

Had a first drive early morning today. It was wonderful experience...everything much smoother than expected. Found a little difficulty in reversing and parking will try to brush up the same in a few days. Now I am looking forward to exploring Delhi together with the occasional trips to places around. My dear long time slumbering Camera you will not be idle for long.

The Good , The Bad and The Ugly

2009-07-05T04:31:00.000-07:00

This world is full of good souls at the same time there is no dearth of mean people around...You might be ditched by people who you know and care about. At the same juncture there will be someone to help you out and feel good.

The 14+ years of single existence has given me enough experience to sense that how good someone is and how ll they behave when the need arise. But I still lag the ability to adjust to people whom I do not like and do not have good chemistry with. I guess in order to grow and become successful this is an important requirement to have. I do not know when will I be able to acquire the same but I am still working on it.

But the hate I am facing this moment is kind of unparalleled...And I know I have always bloomed in such harsh conditions. Oh God give me strength to come out of this quagmire unscathed and let my confidence intact.

The Repentance

2009-06-11T06:47:00.000-07:00

It was the best of the times, it was the worst of times,
it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of the foolishness,
it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity,
it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness,
it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair,
we had everything before us, we had nothing before us,
We were all going direct to Heaven,we were all going direct the other way
- in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

(An excerpt from "A Tale of Two Cities" By Charles Dickens.)

What a writing...this enticed we to pick the book, the moment i got my eyes on the starting phrase. Helluva... it was just not an ordinary purchase, but marks my graduation to classics. They say its good to take a break but I 'll like to add, if you come out of the break with something more interesting and substantial then only you had a successful break.

So here I am, just out of a hectic quarter which have burned me to my weirdest idiosyncrasy. I have not read a book for a while. Over it, I have not blogged since ages. What can be a better way to repent than to start over to reading classics and a promise to blog regularly.

Just back from a trip to Mumbai. I was there to give my CFA level1 exam, but after exam got some time to visit the old hangouts and refresh the memories of past. Especially the ones which I am missing currently. The trip made me closer to Mumbai. As of now I am about to complete 2 years in Gurgaon, and from my experience I can say living here is atleast 4 times easier than a comparable living in Mumbai. But still I believe if given an option I will always choose Mumbai over Delhi. I don't know weather it is just kind of my first love for Mumbai or is it my abhorence to this cosmic city of Gurgaon. But I will like to stay in mumbai for an extended period. I am earnestly waiting for the right opportunity. OH Dear God, let it come as fast as light.

1 Year @ Work

2008-09-09T10:59:00.000-07:00

Today reminds me of the day I got placed. The ecstasy and jubiliance of the first job was simply unbelievable. I was on the top of the world and everything else was just brilliant. A young grad fully tarnished from the 5 years of countryside existence but still confident of his potential and accumen was rejoicing his maiden launch into the outside world. Perk was healthy, parents were happy and so was the young grad, still oblivious of the outside world and the complexities out there. Time passed as usual the grad left his street and came out fighting. More time passed and one day he is greeted by his manager with an appreciation letter ( Nothing fancy just a copy paste thing ) for the successful completion of his one year of association. And here he goes with the sweet/bitter memories of past year and its impact on his career.
Being a data analyst i can say a year is too short a span to infer about ones standing but it surely acts as an harbinger of the future. Today when I compare myself to that celebrating young grad a mischievous smile comes to my face. This smile is for the jubilance of the ingenuous grad who is completely unaware of where he is heading to. It is for his confidence which shows no bar. A year into real world had taught him emmensely and transformed his outlook completely. Today he looks slightly overweight (with a slight tummy ) and many year older. He is capable of affording most of the things in the world and is least worried about the big bucks in life. But the overwhelming enthusiasm and confidence is missing somewhere. He is a realistic now who knows his strengths and limitation. He is aware of the outside world and chalenge it poses before him. He is well aware of the fact that there are somethings other than accumen and hardwork which defines someone's success. In a way he is an experienced man now.
But he looks much worried today..perhaps he is finding the present world much shorter than his imagination. Perhaps he is thinking of expanding his horizon and move on to some wider world. Will he be able to do that is still a Big Question Mark........

This Will Stay With Me Forever

2008-02-03T10:15:00.000-08:00

Don't know why I didn't read it before but i must admit It turned out to be better than best of my expectations. Heard and read a lot about this book but never made my mind to try a romantic one. But now I know Love Story by Erich Segal will always be counted as one of my best read ever. Was really disappointed after finding out that it is just 125 pages..Do not remember last time when i read such a short book..But if i have a metric to count, the per word entertainment with this book will outnumber all of my previous read.

They had nothing in common but love. Oliver Barret IV a rich sporty harvard bloke get into love with Jenny Cavilleri a poor redcliffe music student. It sounds like an ordinary story of a cheap bollywood flick But what makes it great is narration. I totally agree with one of the review which say "Beautifully Written.....Profoundly Moving".

"Love means not ever having to say you are sorry"

The Rain Maker

2008-01-27T07:13:00.000-08:00

It was pleasant to have two consecutive weekends off... After such a horrible schedule, it seems that at least for a while peace has again peeped into my life..Got some time to start a book last weekend and finished it this afternoon..It was nice to be back among books.. my closest companions.

It was The Rainmaker from John Grisham..A compulsively readable work with good pace and lively characters. He is a young rookie lawyer just out of a graduate college (like me :) ) and has been fired even before his graduation because of an acquisition of the law firm he got placed to (I was sometime on the verge of a similar fate :) ). He tried a lot to get a job, but was betrayed by everyone around. These betrayals lead to some avenging incident and he found himself a culprit, in an arson case. The fate forced him to take shelter of a notorious lawyer, with underworld links, and FBI all set to have a go on him. There he met an experienced paralegal who has managed to flunk his bar exams seven times. They both decide to go independent and start a firm of their own. They have some of the cases they stole from the underworld lawyer and a bad faith case against a big insurance company. He rises to challenge this firm with an experienced and renowned group of lawyers and big bucks to defend them......A must read for those who love detail narration and court trials.

2007: A Look Back

2008-01-14T10:38:00.000-08:00

When i look back at year 2007 I feel Whao!!! what a year !!!.. Probably one of the most happening year of my life..With full of Ups and Downs..Full of Masti & Dhamaal...Full of Hellos and Good Byes...Full of Hard Work and Chill Outs..What else you want just in a year.

Year started on a happy note with a bonfire GPL session by dual degree RK ..Thanks guys those bumps will go down very well in my memory lane.

Jan and Feb were too chilly..had a wonderful time when all the friends got placed. Will always remember the final semester for never ending bhaat sessions and treats.

The second half of the semester was quiet hectic .I was really busy with optima, DTP and farewells . Also there was always a feeling of longing and nostalgia all around..with all the guys trying to make the maximum of the last days and treasuring as many memories and dvds as they can. DTP went too fine and the final semester results were just rocking. With an ex in DTP and grand viva I secured the highest sgpa of my engineering studies. Missed the silver medal by a close margin.. Magaal you won..But i gave u a good fight for your money. Also the main attraction of last month in kgp were long walks around the campus with magaal and diggi..and the Vikramshila top chilling. Hey those were the best days of my life.....

Unexpectedly the Seperation with kgp was quiet painful..Especially when your friends start departing and you go around the campus and find a lot of places you took for granted till now but just a single thought of seperation from them was good enough to make you sad..I will always miss the Nescafe opposite to indu, the cheddis, Chillies, billoos..Gol Chakkar ..Scholars avenue..Kgp Gym and what not..The entire KGP...If any one now asks me how was kgp..I simply reply it was a paradise..I will always miss you kgp...

Seperation with kgp was followed by a long stay at home...It was great to be with parents for so long a time and to some extent help them in there work..Don't know when will i get the next opportunity to do that. The second half of the Home stay was quiet stress full. With lot of rumors about your future work place around and nothing much to do you can not manage to live in peace..But the episode taught me a number of things which will again enrich my experience.

After a long wait finally the joining date arrived... Found the workplace much cooler than what i expected.... It was a new beginning... First month went away in training although was much peaceful than it sounds...Did not got much work just after the training...I was almost on the verge of give up when the staffing happened and i was on a project.

Considering the fact that i was almost lukkha for past two months it was great to be on a live project..But soon the work pressure increased and i found myself really busy after a long long time...There is nothing much to share about after that day...

I am back

2008-01-14T10:26:00.000-08:00

It has been ages since i blogged...As the last post suggests it was about a year back...The past year has been full of ups and downs for me..It taught me a lot about life and i am sure what ever i learned will guide me all through my life. But probably not blogging was one of the down aspect of the year. Now let me make my first new year resolution..In this year i will regularly blog and will nurture my writing skills...Picture Abhi Baaki Hai Mere Dost!!!!!!!!!!

Peacomania.....

2007-01-22T21:16:00.000-08:00

"Yeh jo World hai naa World yahaan do type ke log hote hain.... ek jo peace nahin milne par load le lete hain.... aur doosre wo jo load lekar hi peace mein rehte hain"

I am yet to find the type i belong to.

Not a lot before i used to count myself in the first category and after getting a job this awareness led me to dream of a full semester of enjoyment with nothing serious to do..but a lot to experiment and explore. My life was sailing in a placid sea on the boat of my dreams..was having a great time with numerous pasttimes like

Playing Cards ( World's most amusing and addictive game.. for the fellas who know that please be away and for the ignorant ones plz do not give it a try)

Playing RON [Rise of Nations]...My second addiction from the so called strategy game kity First one was AOE that to0 a long long time ago.

Watching Movies TV-Series and Blah Blah Blah.....

It have never been a hard worker... atleast certianly not in iit..But the last twenty days i was at the height of unproductivity. to quote someone who said.

" Saale aaj kal tu karta kya hai bus mess jaata hai aur room par pada rehta hai, Poore din room par karta kya hai"

Hmmm an interesting question....

But everything went into thrash as i woke up one day and my infatuation with peace got a serious second thought....

It is someday ( May be Mon Tue or Wed but certainly a day)

near around 12.30 PM i was in a sound sleep...and some body knocked.... knocked..... and knocked again..... I grudgingly woke up with a sure plan to knock this guys head off. Opened the door knob and here he was........ commenting and making fun of my current schedule with a tinge of fiction and mockery....to my rage.. although a dear friend but he was considerably the laziest person i have ever seen in my life....and here he was making an exemplary comment and vindicating the rusting power of a job.

oh god it was very frustrating who the fuck are u?? and sevral other thoughts got to my mind but there was also a realization....
this was not the end of the night mare but prooved out to be the first in the series of several eye opening incident i experienced that day.

the most dreaded one was

After brushing and free of all my early morning activities i was on my way for breakfast ( although a lunch for everyone else at this hour) and i met another freind...One who is obsessed by his obesity and usually do go for run (sometimes with me) every evening to get his belly a bit down..

Aur bey nitin kya haal hain
Lagta hai Gym jaana Band kar diya hai yaa phir mess ka khaana bahut bhane kaga hai
tu bhi ab hamaari league mein aata jaa raha hai dost ( giving a slight hint of my protruding tummy)

I was aghast..it was the last league i ll like to get into .... I looked at my tummy and back to his face... pulled my belly inside..tried to make it as tight as possible..and gave him a glance to see feel and rethink...

But he was too clever to be fooled by such a plebeian tactic.. now he garnered the support of everyone around and roared with a conviction...

"Yaar tu ab kuch bhi kahe but ye to reality hai"

And I knew it is........ and here came the load which predesposed me have a rethink about the type i belong to

With all this realization got in to a serious aatmchintan..where i am heading to...Is this my typical self or am just wearing a facade to follow the common mass belief and tradition.

This post is one of the first step to come out of that dilemma and is also the first creative stuff i have done in the last three weeks... I ll keep u updated with my future plan of action..so plz do
visit me often and leave some comments too.

2006-10-05T12:27:00.000-07:00

Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up.
It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed.
Every morning a lion wakes up.
It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death.
It doesn't matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle.
When the sun comes up, you better start running.

zzzzzz..........

2006-09-16T12:37:00.000-07:00

A lot has happened in my life since last April. First of all had an awesome summers in the wonderful city of Mumbai. Then went home for a brief stay which was also exceptionally a great one. And now finally back in kgp in my final or more precisely superfinal year struggling hard to achieve one of my long time goal. It has really been the most happening time since JEE days. But didn't got much time to write a lot during these days. May be it will be justified to take a pretext of busy schedule but i know i might have continued it with a little time management and conviction. But sometimes you find your self in such a dramatic situation that everything seems to be like a fantasy. In such situation u loose confidence in every one and simply try to make ur self as private as u can. And some fateful day u come out of this fanatasy and find yourself in the same old world. This transition is often too painful and it takes some time to recover fully. I don't know how much i have recovered but i am trying at my best.

Alas I am in final year !!!!!!!!!

2006-07-29T05:29:00.000-07:00

Just got to attend preplacement talks by two very eminent organisations in the last two days. They were very informative as well as interesting too. But the most interesting development of them was my ascension to final year. This was for the first time i had found myself in my final year. This realisation brought with it all the anxiousness for the future which is going to be moulded in this final phase of my iit stay.
What course will it follow ??? Will i be rewarded for all my hardwork and inteligence?? or will i be punished for all my lousy jobs and carelessness??? Several such questions are haunting me now. Situation has worsen with my past experience which has always seen me faltering in my strongest front and using the weaker one to compromise with an intermediate path.
Will the same fate continues or my lady luck is on its way....I don't have an idea yet. But i believe this is the hightime i start preparing for my next move or rather i should say abackup for my failure in the ultimate goal i am upto. i have always been short in luck.but Probably this is the time i hedge this luck to have various exotic options in the exigency.

Never mind....It's Holi

2006-03-19T04:11:00.001-08:00

Wish you a very happy holi......The strangest and gayest of all indian festivities. In my childhood I learned that all the hindu festivals prevalent today were earlier divided among the four categories befitting the four different caste during vedic days. According to the belief Rakshabandan was a festival of brahmins, Dusshera that of kshetrias, Diwali of banias and holi that of shudras. The common conduct observed during the celebration, was a derivative of the culture of the respective caste the festival belongs to. But In modern indian calendar every festival is celebrated by all the communities with equal joy and enthusiasm. So this is the reason why we have so many of festivities uniformly interspersed throughout the calendar.
I didn't agree with the classifcation of festivals according to different caste but i can surely classify the festivals according to the kind and character of the people they lures the most. Thinking that way Rakshabandhan can be said to be the festival of a brother & sister and the mystic love between them. Huh in my chilhood it used to be the only day of the year when we guys (me and my lil sis) used to escape a fight. Diwali in that way is for pretentious people with a great love to pomp & show. Dusshera is for those with a passion for violence that is probably the reason for involvement of so many of RSS members in the festival. At the end comes the beautiful festival of holi which is meant for down to earth fun loving junta. It is a festival of community which can't be enjoyed sitting back in your home or room. Its the festval which convert foes to freinds and strangers to aquaintances.
Kgp with a huge student community has a old and strong tradition of celebrating holi. Here sun rises too early on the day of holi and it comes with a big dose of fun and love which makes it a memorable day in your life. Its the day to loose control and do what ever you like doing and can't do it in the so called civilized world. Its the day to amble around the campus with literally nothing on your body. Its day to forget all your loads and commitments with a big dose
of bhang. In short it is the day to celebrate your life with all the colurs of youth and enthusiasm you have.
So lets come and celebrate this beautiful festival of colours and plz remember do not mind
anything as its Holi........Bura Na Maano Holi Hai.

So its already 2.o0 Pm on holi eve i can hear a loud sound of uproars from the nearby wing So it will be prudent to change into old attires and let the water raiders do whatever they want. once again a very happy holi to all...Ke rang barse..........

Sprituality for everyone

2006-02-12T07:02:00.000-08:00

Sprituality umh!!!!!!! a very contentious but a boring thing to talk about. How often i find people mostly those who are disappointed by the harsh vagaries of this life taking asylum with a spritual organisation or other. Currently number of organisations like Art of living, escon. rK mission etc are booming over their expertise in calming the restless minds of the workomaniac inhabitants of this hyper-modern world. You just do a google search for art of living and you will get the exent of the charismatic influenze of the highly adulated founders of these organisations.
In my case i also got numerous offers to join one of this group . Infact my reserved nature and traditional insticts do make me highly vulnerable to such an endeavour. Even many a times i have been coaxed by some of my friends to join such an organisation. Infact in a case one of them was so inspired to rope me in that he ended up wasting an entire afternoon just to explain me the positive effects of this so called spiritual organisations, At the end i had to show him the door to end our over exteded arguement which had gone to the extent of clamouring and fighting. Although the person here was a dear friend and a nice being but i can't just waste my 1000 bucks and a week time for some fraudesters promising to give me the calm and peace in such an eventful and enjoyable life. This can also be said to be an quintessential policy of such a organisation they leverage over the contacts of the follower to increase their base and influence. This followers publicise the vitues of this organisation and try to get as many freinds as possible into the cartel. Its a good publicity instict. Even u can find spritual soveniers, keyrings, calendars etc which are used as an publicity material for the organisatons.
So I should say till now i was unfazed by this sprituality boom. I had always maintained that sprituality is not my cup of tea. For a person like me getting his life governed by the instructions of some other person is almost impossible. Niether i have enough perseverance and nor required temprament to survive their long lectures and prayer session. But then i came to read a book which changed my entire perception about indian sprituality.
Book is tiltled "A monk who sold his farari" by Robin S. Sharma one of the most renowned spritual and leadership guru of North America. It is an inspiring tale of a famous lawyer who sets for a life changing odyssey inorder to get out of his unbalanced and over-demanding professional life. There in India he founds all the calm in life and promises his guru to spread his newly gained wisdom with as many people as possible. Here is what entire plot of the book is based upon the lawyer dictating his first hand spritual experience with one of the colleague and closest friend. It is a wonderful fable which do mock on us and tells us the worth of the forgotton spritual wisdom of ancient indian monks. Its a little bit ironic of me enjoying the praise and influenze of indian sprituality from a foreign book when i had outrageously rejected it as a farce back home.

Happy New Year Nitin

2006-01-02T00:11:00.001-08:00

So here comes one more year and there goes another one. Later can be said to be one of the most placid year of my life. When my friends were struggling to have some positive gradient in their career graph I was in a perfectly peaceful state with a lot to enjoy and nothing to worry. So this makes effective outcome of last year pretty low and as it is always said Past time never comes back so with the dawn of 31st december 2005 i have wasted one complete year with nothing much to carry forward.
But here comes one of the most happening year of my career. This year will reward my carrer with both direction and dimension. And i am quite sure the productivity of this year will reflect all through my carrer. So here comes the time to resolve myself to work hard and utilize the newyear to the optimum. so that the next year can be welcomed with far better mind set and its memories can be cherished all through my life.
May god help me in making my dream come true and give me enough strength to make the coming year one of the most prospereous year of my life time.

post illu mania

2005-11-06T10:00:00.000-08:00

Illu is over but the itching and memories still remains. Rkites are still not completely ot of the shock of loosing illu. No body is ready to believe that judges were fair. Especially when videos and pics of are out and its now open that our illu was far better than others. Then why didn't we got gold, forget about gold we were given fifth position which was quite outrageous. Some r saying that it was done inorder to encourage other halls and send them a message that illu can't be said to be a legacy of RK & RP. Especially amusing was the poster tiltled "Calibre is not enough it takes a conspiracy to take away illu gold from RK". Its a big compliment and is quite true considering our record whenever our structure lites fully we surely get gold.
Anyway Rkites get a consolation in form of there illu and rangoli pics given a wide coverage in media, in news paper articles and also a clip in zee news. So we can say media rightly and impartially judged our show to be the best. What ever consolation be given but loss of illu gold will irk Rkites atleast for a year and possibly all the final years for ever.
Post illu life again seems to be monotonic but now there has come a little bit of load in form of a series of seminars. But as one of our professor often say we are experts in giving presentation . It doesn't know how much we know but we can impress or rather dupe anyone with a pinch of brain and presentation skills. Anyway this all things are part and aprcel of an typical iitian life and we should learn to enjoy them.

illu 2005... RK Rocks.. But Who Cares After all Judges were Blind

2005-11-02T02:17:00.000-08:00

It was 7:10 in the evening we were all at our respective positions, checking and correcting the diyas to be lighted down soon. Any time from now call of RK lites can be given . Our hearts were full of expectations and apprehensions. Expectations were for our hardwork of last two weeks, to materialise into a heartening & memorable win. Apprehensions were weather our structure will light up fully or not because we knew if it get lighted then it would be the grandest and the most beautiful illu of all halls participating in this interhall illumination competition of IIT Kharagpur. illu, as it is commonly known, is one of the most labourious and creative event of iit system. Its the only event with a scope for every one to contribute in his own way. More ever specially for rkites it is not only a tradition but a question of prestige. No final year batch will like to passout without winning the illu in their time. This time the fact of being the defending champions and very good preparation by other halls have added additional pressure in all of our minds.
This was indeed the final step of the entire show when we have to lite down the entire structure and remove the entire logistic within a minute. And there came the command of rk lites we all started lighting our respective chatais. At first the atmosphere was tense, some us were fretting & lighting diyas with shaking hands. but soon the entire structure started illuminating. It was coming really great. Except for the top diyas they were lightening with no resistance. It was an awesome scene to watch your entire hall, congregated at a single place, lighting thousands of diyas tied to create a grand structure, depicting a theme . All the chatai heads were at their best, motivating and guiding their guys with an occasional glimse of the entire structure as a whole. To my satisfaction it was lightening with full intensity. We were enjoying our time and call for split and dismantling of the tables was expected soon. One.... Two.... Three and RK split every one came down took hold of their tables and run for cover whereever they can. It was really amazing more than a hundred tables arranged one over the other upto six layers, coming down and removed with in sixty seconds. It can be said to be one of the gratest example of desciplined team effort and that is what illu is known for.
We all were hiding in the cycle shed with judges inspecting our creation. We were dying for the moment judges finish and we are allowed to see our hardwork materialise. We were delighted and confident of a sure shot victory and anticipating a big celebration late in the night. Soon judges went away and gate of the cycles shed opened up. And we all were running towards the garden shouting and screaming at our best... each of us hugging everyone around with the entire lighted structure beside us. It was one of the happiest and most memorable moment which we will cherish through out our life. Soon there was a big tempo shout and again a series of hugging and wishing. It was illu at its best... It was Rk at its best...... And there were we all extremely proud of our creation. After all being the defending champions we were expected to give our
best & that was evident from the huge crowd admiring our show and comprehending the source of the excitement and jubiliation in us.
After all the celebration, photo sessions & a short tour round the campus. There came the time for the result. There was a huge crowd in front of gymkhana....every one at its best enjoying the impatience and excitement in the atmosphere. Specially worth watching was the enthusiasm of RK & RP hall. Each expecting a memorable win and getting a big pot of rasgullas as prize. The memory of last years illu was still in our mind.... how we had carried away the traditional victory procession....The taste of last years rasgullas was still in our mouth and it was raring to have some this time too..... All of us were confident of a sure shot victory. It was only a matter of formality for the judges to announce us the winner and handing us the trophy and also our share of rasgullas .
Finally judge came and started announcing the final verdict. And suddenly we saw a big roar from a section of crowd and there was the illu trophy lofted up in the air. My immediate reaction was whats happening???????? Why are they lifting our illu trophy????? They can't win illu may be they may have lifted it by mistake in lieu of rangoli trophy. But which is this hall????????? No its not RP????? RP guys r standing aghasted to our left....... OH No its lallu.......And now why r they lifting the rangoli trophy???????......... OH god what a folly.......Are this judges fool or am i dreaming.......... ITs too ridiculous..........How can they do it with us???????????? Its real prepostereous???????? They can't win both of it...............and the confusion prevailed for next ten minutes.
Finally it came clear that we got a big surprise from the learned judges who had just rejected our hardwork of an entire month terming it to be old and boorish and have adjudged lallu,the champion because they were too creative.... After all they have depicted a big tajmahal in their illu which was an exception keeping in view of the traditional mythological themes. It doesn't matter that such a structure consist of mostly straight lines and only a single curve in form of a dome. It must really be a catwalk keeping in mind the complexities of the figures made by RK & RP. And they had some additional offers too they have diverted from the regular decorum of illu and acted the plot of raajdarbar with some live music one as if thereal tansen was singing for akbar. It was as if judges got a drama free on a bargain of illu. Sometimes we do require changes but that doesn't mean that the present is not good. Changes should be admired but we should not completely forget the present which had given us the idea of the change required.
We worked really hard and did put up a splendid performance. The admirations & accolades we recieved were our treasurable rewards. It doesn't matter much that we didn't won the gold. Because we still believe we were the best. Memory of the moment we rushed out from all the direction to celebrate the result of our hardwork and labour will always we there in our mind. And will always make us nostalgic of a great event called illu and its ultimate master RK......Long live the tradition of illu........Long live the spellbound performance of RK

2005-11-02T01:45:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it happens........when u face an unexpected defeat that too when u think that u were the only one with a mettle to win. At such a time u shout u cry sometimes u do overreact but soon u realise there is nothing in arguing and protesting. This is the ugly face of the otherwise very creative and awarding world. But before blaming the world u should know u r also an integral and inseparable part of the same mean world and the problem generated now might be an afterefect of one of your past demeanour.
Defeat is something we all run from but its also a thing which we all have faced at somepoint of our liftime. Sometimes defeat is too harsh to shatter all your confidence and make u a very subdued and depressed being. Other time it might make u a tough and experienced guy who knows what went wrong this time and try to correct it next time. But many a times when u know that it was the last time and nothing can bring it back. Such a situation makes the defeat far more piercing and painful.

2005-10-20T09:48:00.000-07:00

Just back after an extended DP vacation......Its really nice to be home during festivities specially when its the only one u can celebrate with ur family. But return journey was too boring thanks to my plan of coming two days late. It's really too boring to travel alone that too when u r returning from your home.
And now when back in kgp its raining nonstop from last three days.

illu is near.......with the tempo visible in second years RK can surely repeat the last years show.

Sometimes u get tired of sincerest efforts and lose every hope of getting something you crave for too long . Then a day that same longing is satisfied accidently with no effort and expectation. This is what we say the luckiest time of our life. But i wonder when such kinda time will come in my life. I hope its quite near as i have lost every hope of it.

What to do?

2005-09-30T23:33:00.000-07:00

'Not again' its what my heart say when asked to make a decision about the future. A similar dilemma occured six years ago in my tenth standard when i was too uncertain about my future. My businessman father was advocating a simple graduation with an MBA to take over his business, But my elated heart ( with my performance in secondary board) was raring to touch new heights .At that time i followed my heart. I can't say that it was the best decision but i am sure i am content and can't blame any one for not giving me a chance to proove myself.
Yet again at this juncture of my life i am again facing the same challenging question. Only difference is that this time stakes are far much higher. it is now or never kinda situation. May be this time i will not get a chance to retrace my steps afterwards.
At this jucture of time it is a real help to hear from the sucessful people
of past time. Guys who once upon a time were in the same shoes as you are now but they capitalized on their opportunities to carve a path of their success and fame. It was the inagural evening of careerz 05 a carrer initiative by the students of iit kharagpur. As a chief guest we had one our alumnus Mr. Sandeepan Deb who is a well known name in the field of writing and jounalism. After graduating from iit and iimc he relinquished his high paying job at ITC to follow his heart and do a job he liked doing most. Here is a part of what i got from the evening and my own opinion about the same.

Majority of people in this world are in to the jobs they do not love.......I think this statement is as true as saying that majority of people in this world are not happy . Although the statement is phenomenal but it can be said to be more apt for a devloping country like india where options are too limited and competition is too fierce for an average person to get into the shoes he prefers the most. People here are too averse to risk rather they are driven by opportunities. Opportunity here is not based on job satisfaction but its based on the prospect of wealth and power in the job.
Its specially evident in the attitude of majority of iitians who have to come up to the huge expectations of their parents and relatives. How often we can find people here preparing for both cat and gre Its too amusing and hard to comprehend as this two are entirely different and non-related field. But people prepare for both just for the sake of increasing their options considering some of common features in their format.
I liked the views of Mr sandeepan deb in which he defined devlopment to be equal opportunity for everyone to realise his potential & prooved that iit is that devlopment platform which is being provided by india to some of his selected guys. & we should capitalize on our luck to realize and nurture our potential in our craved field. There was alot there to discuss agree and reject. Its a good initiative which is forcing me to find what i really crave for and what will make me one of the most satisfied and happy man in this world . There is yet a lot to come from careerz and i think at the end of the day i will comeout to be more confident of my future plans.

post midsem trip

2005-09-25T11:37:00.000-07:00

It feels really special to have an outing after stucking long at a place. Same went with us on our recent trip to kolkata. Every time after exams we plan for a far away outing but finally have to appease ourself with a cal trip. This time it was quite different we were in 4th yr and most of our pals in final yr there by unlike other times our strength reduced to just three guys. So it was a small but a coherent like minded group. Although we had no prior plan of sight seeing but inorder to have something out of trip we had a short visit of victoria memorial. A museum endorsing the british raj and vindicating the prosperity and devlopment of the country in their rule. Glorifying each of there notorious commanders without giving a clue of the hidden cruelty and greed behind most of their nasty and heinous endeavours. Anyway it was a good demonstration of the glory and lavishness of white rulers in the poverty stricken british india. After a brief stay and an exhilarating photo session we went to esplanade for a shopping spree.
The rush in the market was awesome but it is justified keeping in the view of upcoming puja festival. We also become one among equals shopping untill our pockets were exhausted to an extent that only return fare remained left. Vallet was empty but heart was still full of cravings but it happens every time i go out for a spree. Finally we ended our trip with a delicious treat at dominos and hurried back to catch the last train back home (kgp).

changes...

2005-09-21T12:44:00.000-07:00

Again a long gap... this blogging hobby is getting out of my way but lately the other factor responsible is my inability to share anything due to the placidity of my life this days.
Just as i was thinking what to write about i noticed world had changed a lot since my last blog......The area of influence of heavy rains has changed from bombay to andhrapradesh. Stock market had risen to its all time highest 8500 point index. Poor form of indian team continues with two successive final loss within a month time. huh world is changing at such a high pace and i am leading the same monotonic life
Actually change has come here too but this is a cyclical change which has to occur every couple of months. Yaa.....ur right.. there came exam time again. With it there came a little bit of load in life but this load was just a fraction of what it used to be a year before. This time exam too seemed too be a routine job. There remains no desire to excel them there remain no fear to have them On the other hand they appeared as a welcome change in the otherwise daily routine of classes and other activities

Life goes on ...........

2005-08-20T13:26:00.000-07:00

Ages have passed since my last blog. Life is moving at a very slow pace far slower than wat it used to be last year or last to last year. This placidness can be attributed to large reduction in contact hours and my burgeoning disinterest toward studies. This semester i can say i am bunking classes as often as often as i used to attend last semester. I don't know whats the reason behind this metamorphosis but my friends suggest some final/4th year phenomenon behind it. Also recently i have started doing a lot of physical work out which makes my body too tired and my mind too dull to commit and write an entire blog. Watever may be the outcome but my blogging is suffering a lot due to this attitude.
Also a lot of events took place in this long period of nonblogging. New second years arrived and became part of the hall with culmination of their orientation period last night. I still remember the day our op ended. It can be counted as one of the most happening days in my life. After sustaining twenty days of oppression and subjugation i was again on my own. But the next day i found i was not the same person i used to be a fortnight ago. This new person was far more confident and far less introvert than what he used to be a few days before. Interaction with near about two hundred people in a short span of twenty days was a big and effective change for a person who hardly find himself comfortable among strangers. That period was one of the most social period of my entire life and i will cherish it all through my life. Also worth cherishing is the experience of OP as a scenior. This year i found as you become senior your way of taking op also gets mature. Last year i used to enjoy my senior status and used to extract fun out of the entire process. But this year it appeared to me more of a social responsibilty to give back every thing what i got from my seniors. This was again a change which suggested that now i am a veteran of kgp.
Also the other important event which took place was convocation day. As usual a lot of seniors came with a bucket full of experience and tales to share. This resulted in long bhat sessions which cleared some of our conception towards the outside world and helped us in assessing the probable direction of our future. Whatever may be the future but it is for sure that from now onwards our life will change at a rapid pace. I can again see a tunnel full of tests as dark as it used to be in my +2. Only future will tell in which condition i will come out of this dark tunnel. But the voyage will really be tough from now onwards. Lets hope i will keep on going nomatter however tough this going become.

Raining cats n dogs ******N.B.

2005-07-28T09:43:00.000-07:00

The first time i heard it, I had to think a lot to find the probable cause of the use of such an obscure expression inorder to depict the heavy rain. Even i had a short discussion with my friends about it.....But we didn't come to an conclusion. A lot of time has passed but still i don't know the reason behind its use But if its said to depict the intensity of the rain ( which i afraid is not true) then be should say its raining bulls and bears in mumbai ( Don't be mislead by its share market analogy bcoj there are only bulls there).... above 800mm of rainfall in a single day yaar its astronomic most part of the country do not get such amount in a whole season. Such an event may be a abberation for mumbai but not for india. India has always sufferred a lot with fluctuating and erratic monsoon. There is flood ina part of country at the same time when the other part is facing acute draught. But after all diversity is what india is known for.
Whatever may be the casuality but with such a monsoon around i again get an urge to know the reason behind the usage of the phrase raining cats and dogs.....So as usual i made a google search and come up a confusing situation. Actually there are many proported reasons for the usage of the above phrase. Some people's derivation is that cats are sayed to have sway over the weather ( its an old sailors myth). Feline meteorological magic, coupled with a symbolic association of storms with dogs, may be the genesis for the phrase. The other arguement is that on account of the notorious inefficiency of 17th-century sewage and drainage systems, the streets of European cities were often littered with debris and dead animals( mostly cats n dogs) after heavy rainstorms. They had to come from somewhere, right? There were other arguements too. But i got bored and stopped digging furthur.
Lets leave out rains... they are just for a time being and everything will be back to normal within a week or so..........but high rain in my region may bear me an advantage in form of a concession in power cut over next summer which has become a typical feature of an scorching indian summer especially in a power deficient state like MP.

Note: Censored ( Only for extremely pervert people who can endure reading anything) Its real crap plz avoid reading it and if u dare to read it again don't blame me for the after effects

Back to Business

2005-07-20T10:49:00.000-07:00

Back in kgp It feels good to return back to the den. Also its long time since my last blog.
So coming back in ur 4th year many things do change drastically......... Like u miss a lot all the passout senior guys especially your wingies. Also coming to 4th year seems a short of metamorphosis. It's a year with all the fine aspects of a final year in absence of all the burgeoning loads that a final year guy face. But the situation of idealness arrising out of this features can frustrate u many a times. But taking everything positively it gives u one more year of peace and masti which will be a longity once u r on a job.
So days are passing right fine Enjoying my stuff with long chats about the internship. Just finished "The American Brat" by Bapsi sidhwa. A nice book by the parsee pakistani writer . ITs story of a pakistani girl on his first visit of US who soon get infected by westerlies and soon became an american brat. Its a nice and vivid exposure of all the harsh and eyeopening experiences u go through while adopting to such a drastic change of culture & society. Currently reading The half blood prince . Its coming up nicely and JKR has inflicted a lot of changes in the way the mystry unfolds.

Let's call it a day

2005-04-30T10:52:00.000-07:00

Its the end of the year......finally i have finished three years in kgp.......its really soothing.......On a scale i am .6 engineer now.....So it calls for a celebration......but celebration is of other kind, its for the outgoing final years of the wing, going out for a kill in the outside world. May god give them success in whatever field they lay their hands in.
Its realy a great social adventure to live in iit kgp specially for an introvert like me who rarely find himself comfortable making new friends. But hatsoff to social life here with a fabulous hall system and furthur hats off to rk hall for its multi-year wing system. With your arrival in a senior wing of the hall you get a bunch of seniors, to guide you taking important decisions & to put a sense of accountability to the otherwise unaccountable life of a typical kgpian. Its really fun to live with your seniors who are more closer to u than most of ur batchmates. With my allotment to the wing CTE i also got a hand full of such seniors and i too feeling really bad now when they are leaving me.
People come and go, but memories remain. I am sure their memories will always be with me enlightening me to give my best in all the cucial points of my life. But here are the best things about this fellows which i will like to cherish my whole life.

JD: My closest and most dear senior.......As we proficiently put up in iris Buddha by name but baccha in game.....we shared a lot of fights and light moments but he is one of the sweetest guy i have ever known....at the culmination of our association this sweetness become a little bit sour.... but in reality that was just a cosmetic phase which can't be reversed but also can't be put forwarded all the time. However short tempered he may be he is a good friend and a great person

Chandan: Chota sa chutia, its probably the rightmost sobriquet for the most contentious personality of the wing. I was really impressed by his communication skills the first day i met him and till date i adore him in that respect. He is simply uncontrolable in any mood, good or bad he is in. It was really fun to tease him with an AOL tag and specially worth remembering is the incident he broke his leg watching a lass in a railway AC compartment.

Bunka: Another great personality of the wing. This man is really a maverick. He is probabily the most confident person i have ever known and this confidence is what makes him different from any other successful person you meet. Other quality of him i like is his straight forwardness. He is really a tough and irritating person to talk with but a nice person to have around. Sometimes his such a eccentric attitude force me to think of kabir whoas had rightly said "Nindak niyre rakhiyo aangan kuti chabaye bin pani bin sawan nirmal kare suhaye"

PS: Someone who force u to respect him from bottom of your heart. I will probabily like him as my elder brother ( something i regret not having in my life). I know only a small bit of him but that much is enough to truely respect and adore him

good bye time ........its farewell every where

2005-04-23T09:13:00.000-07:00

This are the final days of the academic year & its time to bid good bye to many of your seniors cum friends. Every year while sitting in a farewell party i try to contemplate the feelings and emotions of the guys passing out. Every year i find that at that point i can understand it better than what i can a year ago. But there is always a mixed feeling about the place kgp. Just by giving two or three senti farewell speeches you can't get away with a place you have spent four or five years of your life. The most youthful & happening years of your life which had processed you from a potential future to a talented present. Its always a pride to study in an iit and itbeing iitian will always be one of the greatest achievement that every passout guy will have in his CV.
I still wonder what my feelings will be on the day i will be leaving kgp. But it's a long time ahead before getiing to that point and i have to face a lot of troubles and to achieve a lot of acomplishments before the day comes. But its always a special feeling sitting in a farewell ceremony listening to the guys who are leaving you and whose place you imagine your self some years afterwards.
But its a long time since my last blog and i do regret not writing it. Actually a few days before one of my friend asked me why am i not publicising my blog, I contended the suggestion for many days and finally decided i can't do so. Prior to being a blog addict i had surveyed a lot of blogs and majority of them were those, which were used more of as a publicity instict to show off your writing or amusing skills. But i adopted the hobby for the contrasting cause, I want to use it as a platform to express my true feeling & emotions not the one which will please some one and will enhance your fans and friend list. This is the truest form of me and i don't want to make
me public.
Just going through the "fountain head" a classical story of a unconventional architect. Although i didn't fully agree with the feelings and the principals emphasized by the author in the story but i do like the way of writing it. Actually the novel seems to me a little bit out of league of all the best reader i have ever read. I always have an affinity towards the unconventional stuff and i do agree that i am a little bit unconventional in my feeling and attitude. Untill now i have always liked the hidden unconventionality in me I don't know weather it is for a good cause or not. But i like it every bit.
Lets call it a day actually exams are going on and i have to stick to a tight schedule.

Frustness & Addiction

2005-03-24T06:57:00.000-08:00

Hey a long time since my last blog...... actually for writing a blog u require some subject & currently my life is going on so monotonously that there is nothing to write about. But there is a second inspiration for a writer in this world that's frustration and we all know that it's a must condition for a good writer or an poet. I am writing this blog just out of my frustness but don't worry i don't have other skills a adroit writer should possess.
Now question arise why i am so frustrated.......any way there is no need for a reason to be frust in kgp. 90% of kgpians remains frust 90% of there stay in kgp.....But today there's a different dimension of this frustness currently I am frust because there are not enough frustmates around Its holi time and everyone is rushing home for as many days as he can manage as many bunk he can......& wat a unlucky guy i am writing a frust blog that can't give anyone anything except frustness.

Let's have a different talk i am fedup being frust and may be my frustness has crossed its threshhold limit. Let's talk about addiction, the second most awesome condition a kgpian has
afinity to. A typical kgpian loves to be addicted by something or other, may be the genesis of the habit is the addiction of book's, that a typical JEE aspirant usually has & a typical iitian must have before entering the iit . But mind you the addiction prevailing in kgp are not as shortlived as there above mentioned counter part On the other hand they are so exavagant that they can move mountains and turn rivers.

There are different stages of your stay in iit kgp and each stage brings with it it's own set of addictions. But there are some addiction that often influence all the stages of life in the campus and in most of this addictions iit kgps LAN takes an active part currently the most common of infliction is that of sops....Oh don't get confused by the saas bahu ramkahani your mother or grandmother are always glued too . But this are the famous western sops that had made a name
in the west and have become the prey of frustness kgp provides.......And whatever may be there TRP in the west they are great hits here..... I am also an easy prey to this inflictions
As a matter of fact i have just concluded viewing 60 episodes of Roswell in a record time 3 days . & thats the reason i am talking about addiction a lot. But believe me this addiction funda works & i have come to an conclusion that they are the only weapon a kgpian has against all the unhospitable and pathetic conditions prevailing here
I too love being addicted and believe me it's much better than to be frustrated

Anger a sweet poison

2005-03-11T22:50:00.000-08:00

Anger!!! what a strange state to be behested by god to the world,so tempting to attract anyone, so dificult to control yet too dangerous & extravagant to have. But it had remained a route cause of all the misdoings of this world. My association with this strange & ubiquitous human trait is very long & strong. I don't know weather it was hereditary or congenital but this trait is there in my blood right from the day i have gone social. It has always remain beside me in all my misendeavours.
Anger is something i was always taught to avoid and it is something which i was not able to resist my whole life. Its the main cause of loss of many of my friends even some of my good friends were not able to become close one due to the same anger. But i have never been able to control this selfdestructive anger trait.But sometimes life brings u to a state where u can't get angry because u don't have any thing to loose after becoming angry & this is the state u find what a jerk this anger was. But wats the use of something which has already passed so u decide to control it in the future and u succeed too.But only control has never been a solution, every thing in control is prone to go out of control. So inspite of all your restrain someday this anger manages to overshadow your will and comes out. Leavinga devasting effect to your life and it is the day u wonder why god created this strange thing. May be almighty himself had been in the state of anger while creating it.
Whatever the reason may be quality of controling anger is a virtue which distinguish a successful few from the trivial many

One evening in a taxi and a mall

2005-02-27T08:09:00.000-08:00

Driver: sala aaj din hi kharab nikla pure din mein char bar gaadi kharab ho gayi subha se kuch nahin khaya aur abhi udhar tyre banwa kar aa raha hoon aap jo kiraya denge usse daru pee kar so jaoonga
One of us: khali pet daru pioge to mar jaoge
Driver: sahab waise bhi sarkar jinda nahin chodegi achcha he daru se hi mar jaaonga

This was a short conversation with a taxi driver on our last trip to kolkata the way of delivery was so tragic that it predesposed me to think about the incident deeply on my way back to kgp.The centre of my contention were two extreme situations i faced just in a short span of half an hour. Actually at the time of above conversation we were returning from ionox( the biggest and most exavagant mall of kolkata). while our outing at the mall i was fascinatedby the opulence and consumerism which such a malls are known for..... Standard of people shoping there (Especially boy friends of beautiful babes shoping there) and price tag on the products were huge enough to give me an inferiority complex. We were looking complete fool there like a bunch of monkeys in a fairy land. But also there grew a longing to become big and rich in life so that i can also enjoy all the comforts being offered there. Such was the frustration that we left the mall in ten minutes with a confidence that someday we will also be able to afford such a mall as our regular shoping venue.
We boarded a taxi to esplened and did our shoping and we were on our way back to howrah station when the above said conversation happened. The pain and emotions in the voice of that taxi driver forced my thought away from the memory of the ionox and the frustration i faced there. Here i was, contemplating the condition of such a taxi driver and crores of poor people in the country like him It seemed that my life was a luxury compared to there's.This was the second extreme of the country india... An extreme which is far more real then the loftiness of that shoping mall.......An extreme that is seldom talked of when refering india..........An extreme which shows that what the miserable state indians are in..........An extreme which raises a question can india afford such a consumerism and opulence as was there in that mall......

I don't know weather people shoping there were happy or not but it was for sure that this driver was in a very pathetic condition, and if i can envy a person shoping in a mall i should be empathic with this driver too. That fateful night i questioned myself again and again
And i found i was .......
But there was no frustration but sympathy for the poor
no determination to do something for him but only a hollow sympathy
& i gave him the money (whick he may have dranked off) and forgot the whole episode.

There in the train when i contemplated the whole episode It gave me a feeling of guilt together with a hatred against my shelfish attitude. Isn't such a attitude of indians responsible for a third of our population below poverty line.In america an increase of 2% unemplyment is enough to defeat a president in his second term but in india we are dreaming to become a economic power in the world just because a hand full of western jobs are being outsorced in the country. We are happy with our current telecom boom when thousands of indian village don't have a single phone. We are happy to see malls full of lights and grandiuer when a student from rural india does n't have enough power suply to light a bulb and prepare for his examinations.
This two situations were not incidental but were the reality of the country india .....................
A bitter reality which is beimg faced by each and every one of us every evening.........................
But we find our helpless to do anything other than sympathising..........................
I don't know weather there will be a change in my attitude or not but untill such an attitude will prevail in all of us, india will be evaded of realising the dreams it has dreamed off.

Mein Aisa Kyon Hoon

2005-02-20T09:05:00.000-08:00

Sometimes i think why am i as i am
The question arises mostly out of my frustration with my poor performance or sometimes is
inantiated by any of my good friends, who never leave a chance to proove that they are the severest critics this universe has ever witnessed. But is this question a valid one and if it is so can it be answered appropriately.
As i believe (but i never follow) every one has got his own qualities and limitations. No one is being behested with all the talent in all the fields.......the converse is also true no one in this world is without a talent. It is mandatory for him to be good in something or the other only difference is that weather he knows about his talents or not. Even being aware of your talent is not enough you should try to harness your best by the talent you possess instead of whining over the qualities you do not have.
Its quite ironic that eventhough i know the answer then too i am confronted by the same question every know or then. This tendency of mine can be attributed to my being a human
and every human has a tendency of dissatisfaction out of himself.
But it can also be said that this tendency is there because i am not enjoying the stuff i am made to do now a days.....Its again depressing you tried hard to achieve something and after achieving that you find that it is not the thing you were craving for.

But at the end of the day i am what i am and nobody can change that and notwithstanding certain down moments i love to be myself and this is the feeling which should always exist after all if you yourself do not like youself how can you expect others to do so. somebody has rightly said Be Yourself because a orignal is worth more than a copy.

A Tantrum to rue off

2005-02-06T10:16:00.000-08:00

Sometimes u try a lot but u fail.
Sometimes u think u are the best but u soon realize ur not.
Sometimes u creeve for a thing but u manage to loose it.
Sometimes u want to impress someone but u fail to do so.
Sometimes u do a resolution but later fail to comply by it.
Sometimes u want someone to love u but eventually find he hates u.
Sometimes u want to give someone all happiness u can but u manage to sadden him.
This are the times u think u r a perfect looser but u should know at all this moments
that after all u r a humanbeings.

This is the perfect kind a life a human should have.
He should learn from his failuress.
He should learn from his loses.
He should learn from his heart breaks.
He should learn from his outrages.
He should learn from his breakups.
He should learn from his misendeavours.
after all this are the incidents that makes this life a book to learn from.

Where there is a failure there is a chance of success too.
Where there is a heartbreak there is a chance to make up too.
where there is a breakup there is a chance of an affair too.
Where there is a imperfection there is chance of a perfection too.
Whereever there is a longing there is a chance of satisfaction too.
after all this is how a human being learns.

(IS any body reading i am sorry for such a bogus poem actually i am not an articulate writer, infact this is the
first poem i have ever written that too in such a frantic state i am so i hope u will not mind after all its how life goes)

Springs gone it's cold again in kgp

2005-01-24T02:50:00.000-08:00

It's very frust time.................. there is dispondency every where........spring is retreating...........
as if heart is rhyming ABHI NAA JAO CHOD KE KI DIL ABHI BHARA NAHIN........................
It's the end of SF2005.Its time to come back to your own, as if every thing was a beautiful dream which perished away after the end of the deep somber.
from tomorrow the same monotonous life...same boring lectures by same senile professors same labs........ same proxies & same bunks..........But it is how life goes
But overall sf was a fun...... a bit different this time .........a bit matured but a bit less
demanding too. The special attraction of the fest was the beautiful new sf arena which was
looking like a real village with stalls in form of huts and desi khat to sit at.That was a creative innovation from the sf team and they deserve credit for it. Also spring fest is known for its star nites This time there were some of the rocking performances by parikrama, Indian ocean & strings. Parikrama show was happening but performance was a little bit dismal this time keeping in view there last show back in 2003. Anyway they rocked every one
and gave a beautiful kickstart to the fest.
But the grand rocker of the fest was the string group their music was really awesome intrspersed with indian oldies song and accasional indo pak sento from faisal gave the show a lot of admirers. Especially awesome was waiving of thousands of mobiles all over the toat giving a beautiful view of waiving of torches also there were laser lights there profusing an electricity to the croud.Hey faisal may the freindship prevail and we get to hear u live again and again. I also enjoyed the show by indian ocean, although they were void of many admires but there may be many like me. I was really fascinated knowing that its lead singer is an iit kanpur graduate and had reliquished his excellent job to form the band and fulfill his hobby. it's really nice to have such guys around.
Also i enjoyed a lot flirting here and there. Although i never got a success notwithstanding one two antakshari session with girls, its other matter that there boy friends were with them. But i found number of guys proposing gals but never found guts to even think of it. I think i have to take a lot of tips from this guys........overall the fest was a fun and i enjoyed it a lot... But there is no time to think of it now........O' my god it's late night and i have to attend the early morning class

Good bye sf. C u there in 2005

it's spring time in kgp

2005-01-17T08:22:00.000-08:00

this is spring semester,also spring is about to come in kgp.It's january the best moth of kgp life because it is the month when spring fest is being organised.Spring Fest the sociocultural festof iit kgp is the only time of the year when kgpians can say with confidence that there are enough girls on earth & they have not yet fled back to mars.It's the time when the sleepy campus rises to give a grand ovation tosome of prominent master's of music.It's the only time when u can enjoya disco in kgp.It's the time when sun never sets in kgp.More of all It's only time when kgp seems liveable & such a time is about to come........Let's hopefor the best in this Sf. Also a prominent event happened,for the first time i acted in aplay it was a hindi play called "Ek Tha Gadha" It was the story of a nawabwho is the biggest fool in the world but yet think himself to be the wisest.All over his kingdom there is rule of sycophant's who always keep on buttering this nawab and praise him for all the foolishness he does.I was in the role of a Chintak,one among three dearest & most foolishsycophant of nawab.Play was delivered well keeping in view of the fact that almost all the actors were on stage for the first time. It also won a silver in the competitionI look forward on taking part in more plays in the future.I have growngood liking for drams and wonder why i never took part in them in the past.But it's better late then never.

welcome 05 good bye 04

2005-01-05T11:56:00.000-08:00

Its party time new year has come............. Its time to say happy new year after the drastic ending of last year let's hope new year will bring peace and prosperity to the world.....
Looking back at the last year it was a big one but more of a maggu one i accept that most of my time had gone in attending classes and studing but lets hope new year will not be as harsh.

It's the new semester too & it seems to be less hectic but more boring then the previous ones . also it is loaded with an additional burden of a project which brings u entirely on the mercy of the professor. But i have got e-auction as my project area so i can hope myself to be avnish bajaj in making just kidding....But right i am in very ironic situation last semester i got a decent sgpa that soared my cgpa to its best ever point but then too my dep rank diminished by 2 positions that too when it matters the most.i am in a confused state weather to cry or laugh.....But man why am i discussing it here...

my Vacation was as good as always enjoyed ghar ka khana a lot and now missing it too much. I sometimes pray to god to give me a ugly wife provided she should be an excellent cook. But the second thing i enjoy a lot at my ease time is reading books. Recently i completed two books.

First one was "The Negotiator" By Fredrick forsyth a nice thriller a typical forsyth kind and u know i am great fan of him. the story is that of a man behested with a responsibility of negotiating the release of the son of american president who has been abducted by some mercenaries being hired by a chauvinist & magalomaniac business tycoon who want liberal president to relinquish his presodency to a much conservative deputy in wake of mental trauma caused by his son's death. In the later part hero being blamed responsible for the death chase out the all villian in a typical forsyth manner.

Second one was " Suitable Boy" By vikram seth one of the most clasical novel i have ever read. The distict way of expressing each and every detail is the seth's speciality which holds any reader to the book. Also amazing are the numerous characters in the story most of which resemble one or another man in our real life. The story was quite normal stuff that of a girl lata & search for a suitable bride groom for her. But story interspunned with numerous characters narrating the political & sicioeconomical condition of newly born independent india was worth scintilating. It is a must read book that has an ability to tie any reader to itself

What if i may have been there

2004-12-28T08:27:00.001-08:00

What a scene it may have been????????
What might i have done ?????
Weather i might have survived or lost in the lap of the mighty ocean??????
What might i have expected others to treat me like in case i may have escaped death????

This were the obvious questions which came to my mind when i imagined myself in the place of a tsunami victim. Long since i came to mybeing, i have fanatised myself enjoying myself in a beach house. Living with the waves & enjoying the beauty of sunset & sunrise in the sea were other benefits which had always made me envy of all the people living by the sea. But recent tsunami accident had about turned my perception. Why only me rather i should say it has shuddered whole world & i think that this may be one of the worst or who knows may be the worst accident in my entire life time.Its very ironic how the very same people who had always derived there livelyhood from the ocean were drowned to death by their own nurturer. How can nature be so cruel. How can god be so careless ( in case he is there).

But it's how the life goes where there are troubles there are escapades too but at this moment of grief it is heartning to see the whole world promising a grand relief. Every one is giving what he can magnimasly But what percent of the grand promises will be respected no one know but it is for sure that how grand relifit may be it can't relieve every one of his grief....... The echo of the incident will be heard for a long long time.......... But at this moment we should do what our beat we can so that when remembering the accident we can say that we have done what best we may had.

Half The Battle Won Other Half Yet To Win

2004-12-02T04:51:00.000-08:00

Looking in retrospect just a few years before.......to me being an iitian was a dream to pursue It was the utimate passion fueling the desire to work hard......... to proove yourself ...........to show the world you deserve it ........... Time elapsed and dreams were fulfilled but desires remained back. The starving hungry desires with nothing to fuel them.
It was the end of another semester at iit kharagpur......I were quiet happy not because i did well in the exams but because it marked the end of one of the most horrible semester in my kgp life.Here i was enjoying the peace & planning my winter break, then i came to read the status message of one of my fellow mate which read as "Half The Battle Won" this line was there to say that i had completed half of my stay in kgp but i was not amused.Rather i was exasperated to guess the most appropriate completion of the above mentioned comment which read as Other Half Yet To Win...............What was the cause of this exasperation i don't know myself......Was it the mere fact that i have yet half of my stay due at this place...... what did that mean......... I have always liked the place kgp .......but why i don't want to stay here more .......... why i don't .......Do anybody has an answer to it.... may be the answer lies in the state of the same desire which is starving due to lack of fuel to consume.............. It is the same desire to proove my self............to show the world that i deserve much more then what i am getting.....................
I sometimes do think that .....Is this the same state that i had contemplated for while giving my best effort to get into this institute.........But then i had never thought of the things which i will have to do here .......i had always fancied the accolades and rewards which would be accompaning me after i will clear the jee. But i had never ever planned my aims and objectives after joining an IIT........ That is the reason why i am aimless and passionless now that is why i don't have something to fuel my desire to work hard this days......This was the conclusion i draw upon after my above mentioned moments of restlesness
I don't know how much furthur this state will remain how much furthur i will wander restless in search of a passion to fuel my desire but i hope to break the zinx soon before there is nothing left to do ..................

IIlu Kiske Bap Ki RK RK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-11-13T05:32:00.000-08:00

Hi!!!!!! guys just celebrated the best diwali of my life. Eversince my childhood i have got great craze for this festival. It's most prominent festival there in our part of the country and being from a business family it's most celebrating moment of our year. Its having a great pomp and show unlike the other indian festival and best part of the festival is ofcourse the tradition of bursting crackers which i use to enjoy emmensely in my childhood days, But As i grew up my fantasy of crackers got away instead i begun to like diwali for the tradition of lighting diyas which i found best thing to do while celebrating. But two & a half year back when i landed at this sleepy rural town of kharagpur & got aquainted of the tradition of illu here. I was completely aghast to find out how grand and exuberant tradition of illu is keeping in view of all other mediocre and below standard practices being followed here so i decided to wait and watch what happens. When illu time came i worked a lot in making it a success, but inspite of best effort of our hall president and tireless effort from many guys we were not able to mach the expectations. I was very much upset What a nice diwali it was!!!!! nothing in your belly and ur wandering to see the ruins of other halls which were giving the same feeling as if inspecting a ruined city after a nasty devastation. But when we reached Rk where by chance it was about to begun and judges had just entered the erena i was quiet amajed by the twenty foot chatai which was placed 10 feet above the ground depicting krishna and arjun on there rath with 7 horses it was really awesome
the whole theme based on various incidents in mahabharat with central high chatai dipicting the epitome of whole theme it was really worth appreciating. After watching the view i got just a single want i wan't to be in this hall . I don't know what lead to the thought but i was completely aghast by the effort they have put to do that and i am sure the same would be the case with any guy having same traditional sense like me it was really awesome. May be god heard my prayers and i was alloted rk hall and there came the time i was waiting for. I found that illu work here was highly organised each and every thing done was well planed and done in best possible way. It was also very motivating to see the tempo of final years who worked whole heartedly to ensure that work get completed as planned and with all the perfection. I was alotted a chatai with two final years and four of us working on it. The chatai was depicting draupdi chir haran with lord krishna rescuing her reputation.We did our work very well and our grand structure was placed on time every thing was going on with perfectly.
The fateful day arrived when we were about to get fruit of all hard work being put on by us . But our luck bluffed for the first time in my life i experienced rain on a diwali day and illu was postponed to the next day.Next day also weather was not clearly but illu started amid a lot of uncertainity. It started with rp and they put up an excellent show but when it came to our turn it started dizzing & to our distress wind started blowing we were not able to lite our diyas even lited ones were blown off by the wind. Our loss was decided and we can't do anything other than waiting for humiliating roars of the rival winner hall. That was the worst thing to have especially when u were expecting gold and u have done ur best for it that was the worst thing luck can do.On that day after hearing the winning roars of rp hall ( traditional rival of rk) i decided not to work in any illu ever. Time passed and we came to third year all the grey experience of last illu were eroded but the decision not to work again was still as fresh as it was a year before. This year illu was very close to endterm examination that furthur lead to my disinterest in the whole affair. But as the work begun i began to remember the good experience of last illu. How we use to do a lot of masti the whole nite and was there for the class at 7.30 morning. Then i began to think that it has given m e enough memories enough good moments which were a lot compared to unglorious defeat. I found that illu was worth it & inspite of the defeat it had given a lot to the social life of the hall. Then i also remembered the rk illu two year before which had made me to crave to be part of such a glorious show. In the end my decision changed and i started working in the illu. We were alloted a chatai this time it was depicting meditating buddha under the famous tree. this time i will not say that i worked to the same extent as i did in my 2nd year but atleast i put on some effort in it. again the envitable Dday came, I were againt enthuthiastic but this time i were well aware of the luck factor and its role on the outcome but there was definitely a thought that every day is not sunday. And our prayers not remain unheard this time luck factor appeared to be with us.We were able to lite our whole structure & it was looking damn sexy man especially the center 20 feet high chatai depicting lord vishnu in sheshnagsayiya with laxmi. The moment i saw it i got in love with the scene and the same time i knew we will win it this time we will do it. Inspection by the judges was over & it was time to celebrate ur hardwork & to wish ur friends a very happy diwali which was indeed a very special one with thousands of diyas lighting ur garden and mighty figures depicting the grand tradition of iit kgp and saying in loud
illu is worth it !!!!!!! illu is worth it!!!!!!!!!! Finally time for result came traditional rivals rk rp were congregating opposite each other hopoing for the best. Also there were 10 rasgulla pots which were meant to be distributed to the winners & runnerups. among the pots there were some unlucky ones who were about to be given to the runner ups ( Damn loosers in kgp context) Unlucky because no one will savour a single of them and will we fetched to mess workers the next day. Other were the fateful few who were meant for the winners & will be eaten amid a very jubiliant & apetiting atmosphere.Finally the judges came for the thing that matter's the most. For the first time i was watching a typical college scene in kgp all guys shouting and passing on comments with authorities unable to control the mob. Then there came a wining smile from the RP's gsec gymkhana who was having a look at the result taking advantage of his position and our all hopes were shattered. Some of us returned back but i stayed as if i was saying it could not happen again this time. Then the result announcement started and in sequence announcement came 2nd prize for illuminition goes to rp and whole rk was shouting like anything .We were hugging each other and were about to attack our share of rosgulla. It was time for celebration, time for avenging the last years hard defeat. It was one of the most ecstatic moment in my life. We were all over the kgp with traditional tempo shouts of "illu kiske baap ki rk rk . Rp ke Ch...e hakke bakke . Rp ki le li zig zag zig zag" etc etc.
IT was really amazing i wondered what better a diwali can be celebrated.
Long live the Tradition of illu............... Long live the Win of rKThis tradition rocks man and i am sure we will repeat the same win next year when we will be there to defend the trophy and will have very sweet & everlasting memories of this years illu deep embedded in our heart with a deep longing from within to repeat the same glorious win & celebrate the tradition of illu at its best.

It's Nothing Personal, It's all about business

2004-11-06T01:45:00.000-08:00

Hi guys a long time away which infused a lot of changes like weather has changed to somewhat cold and end semester timetable is out giving out a loud message "it's time to study.....so on your table and get started"................ But man!!!!!!!......... who is listening????????? As i see no one ...... all are in a strong grips of grand & exuberant kgp mania called ilu. Hey don't be confused by the abbreviated love proposal from the movie saudagar.It's nothing about romance but it's all about tempo & masti. It's kgp's unique way of celebrating the festival of deepawali. Right now i don't have enough time to describe it but it will be explained in my next post.
For the first time in my life i have got a thought to go abroad .It happened after watching the complete series of Apprentice on Lan.Watching it I was amazed by the exuberant living of the west. I also appreciated their way of managing business & follow the well selected principles being practised there. Apprentice is a reality tv show being aired in America which is nothing but a 15 week job interview for a high profile executive job with Donald Trump's company. Trump is a very rich and one of the most successful businessman in america who deals mostly in real state. He has numerous enterprises like golfcourses,casinos,hotels etc which are extensively shown during the course of the show. Initially there are 16 candidates in the game, who are the selected among total of two lakh applications.This are the people from all walks of successful people ie ranging from those who have very renowned educational & professional qualification from best B-schools to those who have barely passed high school but had lead & grown successful enterprises of their own. Participants are divided among two teams with eight participants each. Both the teams are given a task to perform each week, acording to there performance in the task winning team wins a reward and loosing team has to go to boardroom where one of them(who is considered to be the weakest link in the team & cause of defeat) has to be fired. Actually for each task a project leader is forwarded by the team who is always considered to be partially responsible for the lose.After preliminary discussion he is asked to select two members of the team whom he consider to be most responsible for the defeat.After it there is a fierce session of accusation and explanation among the three and the weakest one is fired by the trump himself.
This was for the first time that i had seen how politics play an important role in a successful manager's life. And for a smart manager he should know how to turn the wrong attention from himself & how to fight all odds before even they had arrived ie how to plan for the odds in advance.

A lone mind with numerous thoughts

2004-10-31T05:18:00.000-08:00

A long time without a blog but finally i am back after puja holidays which i enjoyed emmensely with my family back home.This time our community organised the gujrati tradition garva at home, a welcomed change from the moribund local tradition of erecting a pandal at every 100 meter and wasting a lot of resources without any fun. I enjoyed it a lot it was a informal but a decent & worth enjoying way of worshiping the diety in contrast to our formal & boring bhajans & kirtans. Secondly it gave me a lot of intraction with local people which i was creeving to, as i am being out of my home town from last 9 years.
Vacation gives me a lot of free time to read as many books as i can this time i completed three novels "The Firm" by JOhn Grisham by Ken Follet & The God of Small Things
by Arundhati Roy. Reading the third one was the best experience not just because it was my first novel from an indian writer. It was same as watching a hardcore bollywood oldies for the first time after doing a expertise in hollywood big shots. Reading the book i found contrasting way of describing an indian & western incident. There you can rely on lavish & expedient living but while discribing india you will have distress & distress every where after reading the book i came to know of ground reality what we were then........... & what we are now.......... thanks for all the good changes that we as a country managed & sorry for the factors that lead to our failure to get the other good changes which we should have got.But it was a good experience which will intice me to read english novels by indian writers in future too.
In vacation i wasted a lot of my time watching boring stuff in television ( being a kgpian i am bound by the habit of watching a movie daily) what i found was that the number of news channels are increasing at an astronomic rate but it is not variety which is increasing rather it is crap which they are selling. I don't know what is there to know of a village's ridiculous tradition of celebrating dusshera when u have various other serious issues to dig on. whats the use of interviewing each and every member of STF team who were barely able to catch a bandit after 15 years of there formation. it is nothing to boast about rather we should contemplate what had gone wrong so that such a large team with all the resources took so much of time to crack such a uncivilised & unequiped bandit. I do think that the channels are increasing the genral knowledge of public but there information are so much disorganised that rarely one can expert a topic he is deeply concerned in.
Rather than piling up same conceptualised news channel our broadcasting faternity should take initiatives in educating people with there own expertise field like what likes of discovery & national geographic do.I am also perturbed by the working of indian media. Some one has termed media as the forth estate with a purpose of keeping other three state aware of there wrong and good doings & warning them of there demonevours. Rather our indian media shows an exasperating sycophantic characteristic which should not be there in a democracy for it to progress. If i see in retrospect just a year before when vajpayee's govt was at center they were the star of every one's eyes. They were said to be doing a fantastic job by leading the country to an economic boom and making it an hotshot outsourcing destination. They were said to making country a reckoning name by an aggresive foreign policy & increasing forex reserves, of improving the status of living by improved telecom facilities & improving ties with pakistan.
But now i don't know what had gone wrong suddenly that the very same bjp has lost its charm in a short span of 10 months.They have again became an ill managed party with a rss ideology which had gained power by the use of keen communal politics. And the very same sonia gandhi ,who was accused to be a foreigner, whose hindi speeches were edited in english script so that he can murmur something in public gathering, that same lady who once was accused to get all what she had then just because she was the daughter in law of the first (nehru) family of country. The same lady now has became an epitome of dedication & devotion, one who has sacrificed a PM seat for the sake of country. What had brought this sudden change???????????This all happened just because her party, the very same party which had dominated the indian politics for about a century, emerged out as a single largest party(forget about the simple majority too) and was able to form a coalition govt, a highly vulnerable govt whose each and every policies are dictated by the left parties which works on communist ideolgy, which had been rejected as inefficient by the country it has originated from a long time ago.
I am not a ardent BJP supporter or an rss ideology holder but i don't like media to behave in such an immatured manner. Media is the greatest power and a must for a democracy to flourish. But a biased media is a highly repurcussive & selfdistructive entity which can dump a country to its doom. The same media if emphasise more on reporting the wrong policies and illfunctioning of the incumbent government they may become an aid for the functioning of the country & may present a bench mark for the people to know the credibility of a right party.Then only we can make this country a golden bird again. This was quiet boring stuff but as i have stated earlier i am a good reader and i give a lot of thoughts to the current hot issues & all the good and bad thing around me.I do know that some of my thoughts are not quiet ideal but they are acording to my perception which is not matured yet.This is what a serious contemplation is all about. Thank's for bearing me good bye

Fantasies The Unrealistic Desire

2004-10-05T22:41:00.003-07:00

I like watching movies.They are my best companion when i feel lonely or when i am at my low.There are some which tell me all about famous anecdotes, person or practice.There are certain others which entertain me & fill my heart with vicarious happiness which it is creeving for in a world full of grief. But There are also a few movies which leave a great impact on my way of thinking & attitude.Such are the movies which all version of woods should creeve to make
I happened to watch such a movie yesterday.Although i am an ardent fan of bollywood & only rare bollywood movies can manage to skip my sight. But i occasionally watch english movies too but only after deep consideration & recommendation by my trusted friends.The movie at the point is "Life of David Gale".A must watch for all those who do n't want the world to be as it is today. The film is based on life of a fictious character (no price for guessing)David Gale, a renowned professor & deathwatch activist......An organisation fighting against the practice of death as a capital punishment.It is a thriller cum motivating movie which will leave u guessing all through its course.
But my main motivation to write this post came from the lecture bu Prof. David Gale in the movie about fantasies . The lecture goes on as " Fanatsies have to be unrealistic, because the moment u get what u seek u don't want it any more.Inorder to exist the desire should have its object perpetually absent.it's not it u want but the fantasy of it, so desire supports crazy fantasies.
This was saying the same thing as an obscure thought which came to my mind a few days earlier it was as, How ofen we try to seek a goal. We put on best of our endeavours & intense hardwork upto the extent our mind & body can tolerate & ultimately manage to achieve the desired objective.Then what happens ......Are we happy ever after...........I can bet if anyone can proove that.What happens most of the time is that we catch on some superior goal and begin to wonder in what a crap we were wasting our time & effort when we had got the opportunity to do many a big thing to do with fraction of earlier effort .This feeling motivate us to do a reoentance by seting us a bigger goal which would finally become trivial to us when we shall have achieved it.This is the truth of the life & no one can evade it.Human tribe has achieved current devlopment only by the desire to achieve big......&........bigger.The biggest has never ever happened in any ones life.That is the phenomenon which guides evolution . That is what fuels great discoveries exploration & deeds.Lets try to set us a goal which will become higher and more higher & someday so big that we would be remebered by future generation for the visions & ideas we had given to them.

My honeymoon with the place called KGP

2004-10-05T22:41:00.002-07:00

Kharagpur, the place where i am currently studying is not a big city.Rather it is a small town with only two credentials to its name.The first one is the fact that it has world's longest railway platform, although i always wonder for what the hell this english man had built such a long platform which currently accomodate two trains simultaneously at a single side.The second big feature of this place is it has got one of the most reputed engineering college of india( even boasted of as the best engineering college in whole India).This both institutions ie railways (kgp is currently headquarter of eastern zone of indian railways) & iit is driving the life & economy here.
My confortment with kharagpur took place after i have visited IIT powai which has got great scenic & architectural beautiful campus.This very fact forced me to anticipate same thing from kharagpur,but after i came here to my great exasperation i found this place misfitting all my expactation & embedding all my inhibitions. In place of edifices & lofty buildings( i have seen in iit powai) i found damp & unvarnished buildings which should be declared national heritage untill now............ In place of beautiful loans & gardens there was land...hell a lot of land......... land full of green grass........ as if we are here to learn a lesson of how to keep our country green. Only the good facility which this place can boast about was 24 hrs internet & LAN connectivity. I was already down the dumps at that time due to my dismal performance in jee that i was furthur shattered by the place. My dismondency was upto the point that i begun to think that all my hardwork & labour which i have put to get into an iit was in vain.That was the hardest time i had ever faced which will haunt me all through my life.But i accepted it as my destiny & decided to adapt myself according to circumstances.
Today after spending 2 years at this place i can't say that it is a nice place but it do have something which gives it an edge over all other iits, that is its social life. IIT Kgp is sheltering around 15 hostels called halls. Each hall is having its own unique traditions and peculiarities. Each hall exist as a family where most of the guys know all other guys very well. This all interaction (each hall consist of 300-400 boys all having diverse hobbies & skills) lead to growth of overall personality & community skills which other places can only boast about.This is the attribute which make this place a unique one.Sometimes when i get frustrated by the place due to nonavailabilty of some facility or comfort which is considered to be must for a cultured being i do serious contemplation about the advantages & disadvantages of being here. But this is the place where i was destined to live for 5 years & i will like to make my stay here worth rememberable althrough my life so that at the end of the day i can say nostalgically....................... U Can Take An Iitian out of Kgp,But U Can't Take Kgp Out of An Iitkgpian.........
YO!!!!! Kgp..............Kgp ka tempo high hai

geagraphy of a women say's all about her history

2004-10-05T22:41:00.001-07:00

Going through todays HT i got hold of this joke. This was in a an article by Renowned writer Khuswant Singh.Actually article was about the fact Restriction leads to proliferation ie if we want to restrict something by law the same thing will propogate by faster pace. I do agree with the same, I happens in our day to day life whenever we try to enforce some restriction or resolve not to do something we then only find how difficult it is to do that and after some fight back we give up. This incident generates a growth of feeling in our mind that we can't do without it and this is the time when problem gets perpetual and we get addicted to it.So in my view inorder to giveup a bad habit we should create an atmosphere which immediately and on its own can create perfect stage for outster of the bad habit.It was just a strange thought leave it.
Here comes the much awaited India-Australia test series.Captains of both the team have promised a tough battle and why not,It would be a tough battle because India are world champions at home & Australians are global world champion. This battle is going to be a fitness test weather a local maxima can beat a global maxima, If you answer it in language of mathematics the answer is no But in language of cricket only strange things happens so world is going to witness a grand battle. In which on a hand is australians who are the champions of the outside india. They will definitely like to win at this final battle field to win this empire of world cricket.On the other hand is young & confident team of Saurav Ganguly "The most Successful & the most aggresive indian captain ever" which is still afresh with the memories of australian tour where they had dared to mess up with best and were able to do so.I hope that the series would be a good one & Men in Blue will come out with flying colours.

let's get acquainted

2004-10-05T22:41:00.000-07:00

Hi to all. Here is NITIN GARG. I am a student of the department of Industrial Engineering & Mangement at Indian Institute of Technology Kharagpur.Just came to know about the site from a friend & could't resist myself to sign and create my first blog at this wonderful site. I know you all will find my writing quite boring & full of crap.I am sorry for that but keep on reading them & critics are always welcomed. I have got a great passion to debate on any contentious issue if any of you interested i am always there. Thanking you & hoping that we will have great learning together, I am ending my first blog